THE LUIS SUAREZ CHAINSAW MASSACRE HEAD-IN-HANDS LEAGUE
So named because of the birthdays this weekend of the big-toothed Liverpool striker (27) and veteran horror director Tobe Hooper (71)
- Ross McCormack (Leeds United) 17 in 26 – FAILED!
- Sam Winnall (Scunthorpe United) 13 in 25 – YES
- John Sutton (Motherwell) 11 in 20 – YES
Nothing. All together. Unless you can count veteran midfielder Kevin Betsy, on target for Woking of the Conference Premier League…?
Dartford 0-2 Cambridge United, fought back (like…like beavers, Jeff) to a 3-2 win.
Oldham, who were losing 3-0 to Peterborough, won 5-4 in what might have been described on the Football League Show as “a great game for the neutrals”.
Like the end credits of Crimewatch…
Lee Hughes (Common Assault, charged with Sexual Assault but charges dropped, Failing To Stop & Failing To Report An Accident, Death by Dangerous Driving *which he appealed against*, also questioned over an alleged assault with fellow pro Jason Roberts, but never charged. Three years served.)
Troy Deeney (Affray i.e. kicking a man in the head, although he was a student; Initially this was actually two charges, the second being for assaulting a Police Officer but this charge was dropped. 10 months time served.)
Joe Mattock (Assault x4 – Mattock assaulted two couples who had been giving him a hard time about his transfer from Leicester to West Brom. Got off lightly with a fine and community service)
Nile Ranger (The Daddy of all KTTA players. Street Robbery -aged 15, Assault (found not guilty at trial), Drunk & Disorderly [days after being restored to the first team!], questioned after posing with a replica gun, homophobic comments made on twitter while awaiting trial on four charges of Assault, charged for Criminal Damage but these charges later dropped, charged with rape (case on-going), Common Assault (case on-going), and since then has also missed quite a fair bit of training leading the club to announce “we don’t know where he is”. Not strictly a crime, but worth noting.)
Nothing. The recent cold snap may well have done its’ work…
Mark Roberts (last minute own goal) – Catatonia guitarist
- Chris: Notts County 0-3 Walsall. Finished 1-5.
- Howard: Hamilton Academical 0-3 Cowdenbeath 3-4. Definitely FAILED
- Barney: Oldham 0-3 Posh. Finshed 5-4, as we already know… FAILED. And then some.
Rotherham loan Dicko, Crawley loan in Smallwood. Plenty of hard tackles in midfield, and many a Carry On gag was made.
A rare note, and seal-like applause for a Brighton – this week done by Wimbledon’s Jack Midson did at the Exeter City game.
Burton Albion 2-4 Fleetwood Town – as Fleetwood scored all six, could this be counted as a Mullah-ing? Or even a Mad Mullah? Mark Roberts and Alex Marrow were the generous duo.
Jonathan Obika (Brighton & Hove Albion), James Wesolowski (Oldham Athletic) *Counting Double against old club*, Kieran Agard (Rotherham United) x2, Josh Simpson (Crawley Town), Rene Howe (Newport County), David Ball (Fleetwood Town), Justin Richards (Tamworth)