Game 7 Season 2 (29 Aug-1 Sep 2014)

the ‘hand that rocks the luff machine’ head-in-hands league

So called due to the birthdays of one of our own, Mr Stephen Luff (40) and The Hand That Rocks The Cradle actress Rebecca de Mornay (55!!)

Engaged
HE SH*TS GOALS

Joe Garner (Portsmouth) – NO!
Danny Kedwell (Gillingham) – NO!
Lee Cook (Barnet) – YES! (For the former Charlton man…)

Oyster Card
TONY CRAIG’s OYSTER CARD

Nothing this week

Tribal Chiefs
LOCAL BOY MAKES GOOD

Kgosi Nthele (South Africa, playing for Peterborough United. A possible was Hakeeb Adelakun (full name Hakeeb Adeola Abiola Ayinde Adelakun !)… but – curses! – he was born in Hackney.

Brighton
DAY TRIP TO BRIGHTON

None

Begone!
…AND STAY OUT!

Nick Proschwitz (sent from Barnsley to Brentford)

Darwin
DARWINISM IN ACTION

ballinamallard

Zinger
ZINGER

This weeks Zingers all come from the master himself – Jeff Stelling:

Lenell John-Lewis  getting sent off for Grimsby Town – “He’s known as the shop – well, it’s early closing!”
Declan McManus (scoring for Greenock Morton)- “He doesn’t want to go to Chelsea”
Archie McPhee – “has scored for Annan….his Nanny’ll be pleased”
There was also something about a player who used to be a JCB driver (sadly, I couldn’t hear his name) – “Can he dig [his club] out of a hole?”

Legendary Tony Gubba
STEALTH GUB

Barney: called Cambridge United – Carlisle United at 3-0 on 45mins (finished 5-0)! GUB!
Howard: Wigan Athletic 4-0 Brimingham City at 3-0 on 45mins (finished 4-0, a near miss!)

FINAL SCORES

arsenal-box ThreeAbu Ogogo (Dagenham and Redbridge)
Henri Lansbury (Nottingham Forest)
Jay Emmanuel-Thomas (Bristol City)

charlton02FourAdebayo Azeez (AFC Wimbledon)
Lee Cook (Barnet)
Martin Cranie (Barnsley) og
Martyn Waghorn (Wigan Athletic)

sheffield-wednesday-boxSevenDanny Mayor (Bury)
Gabriel Agbonlahor (Aston Villa)
Jon Shaw (Gateshead)
Kenwyne Jones (Cardiff City)
Mickael Antoine-Curier (Hamilton Academical) x2
Nile Ranger (Swindon Town)

sheffield_united_fcSixDarius Henderson (Leyton Orient)
Harry Bunn (Huddersfield Town)
Jonathan Forte (Oldham Athletic)
Nathan Dyer (Swansea City) x2
Scott Boden (Halifax Town)

peterborough-unitedSixCharlie Lee (Stevenage)
Dwight Gayle (Crystal Palace)
Jonson Clarke-Harris (Rotherham United)
Josh McQuoid (Coventry City)
Reuben Reid (Plymouth Argyle)
Scott Rendell (Woking)

OVERALL RESULTS: LOOKS LIKE CHRIS HAS THIS ONE BY A SINGLE POINT!

Game 6 Season 2 (26-27 Sept 2014)

I Don’t Want To Go To Kiss Amy McDonald Head-In-Hands League

So named due to the birthdays of musicians Elvis Costello (60), Gene Simmons (64) and Amy McDonald (27)

As this is another episode of midweek madness, there are no categories and not even any miscellany to enliven proceedings. However, I can reveal, that on the second of our playing dates, the Balinese Tiger was declared extinct in 1937. There, don’t you feel better for that snippet of knowledge? Impress your friends at parties with this fun fact.

FINAL SCORES:

arsenal-boxOneHenri Lansbury (Nottingham Forest)

charlton02NilNot a bloomin’ sausage
sheffield-wednesday-box ThreeBenik Afobe (Milton Keynes Dons) x2
Connor Wickham (Sunderland)

sheffield_united_fc TwoJohn Egan (Gillingham) – o.g.
Michael Brown (Port Vale)

peterborough-united FiveDwight Gayle (Crystal Palace) x3
Lee Tomlin (Middlesbrough) x2

OVERALL RESULT: A CLEAR VICTORY (IF THAT IS THE WORD) FOR BARNEY AND THE POSH

Game 5 Season 2 (22-25 Aug 2014)

THE ‘R2D2’s GONNA STEP ON ANT AGAIN’ HEAD IN HANDS LEAGUE

So called because of the birthdays of Kenny ‘R2D2’ Baker, 80 on the 23rd, Shaun Ryder, 52 on the 23rd, and Ant MacPartlin 46 on the 25th.

Handcuffs
KNOWN TO THE AUTHORITIES

 Quality over quantity here with Troy Deeney and Lee Hughes.

Red Card
MAKE YA MA PROUD

A Standing ovation for Telford’s Godfrey Poku who went on his debut on opening day and followed this up with another red card for violent conduct (whilst appealing the previous early bath) on the 25th. Fine work.

Beaver
FIGHTING LIKE BEAVERS

Tranmere 2-3 Cheltenham having been 2-0 at half time. Cheltenham’s own PR described their Manager, club stalwart Mark Yates as ‘Steely’. Tea and Biscuits were unlikely to have been served in the visitors dressing room at Prenton Park around 3.45. Thrown perhaps, but not served.

Pagga!
PAGGA!

A few ‘incidents’ but no mutual red cards.

It Dont Mean Nuthin
IT DON’T MEAN NUTHIN’

Michael Antonio – twice against the owls, and Paddy Madden against Yeovil Town

Gubba
STEALTH GUB

Gateshead 1-6 Grimsby called by Barney at 0-3 on 43min.
Cowdenbeath 0-4 Alloa called by Howard at 0-3 at Half Time.

MISCELLANY

Grimsby Town 7 – 0 Alfreton Town. Notable for being the first Wham of the season.

In checking the scorers for this week, I found some sad news. The man with the best name in football has retired to go into coaching – Brown Ferguson. No more to be seen on the Sky Sports News vidiprinter. Sniff….

FINAL SCORES:
arsenal-box FiveAbu Ogogo (Dagenham and Redbridge)
Emmanuel Adebayor (Tottenham Hotspur)
Jordan Wynter (Cheltenham Town)
Luke Freeman (Bristol City)
Marouane Chamakh (Crystal Palace)

charlton02OneNil
Carlton Cole (West Ham United)
Charlie MacDonald (Barnet) x2
Lee Cook (Barnet) x3
Mark Hudson (Cardiff City o.g. now -Huddersfield Town)
Paul Hayes (Wycombe Wanderers)
Scott Parker (Fulham)
Tom Soares (Bury)

sheffield-wednesday-box SixLuke Foster (Southport)
Matty Fryatt (Nottingham Forest)
Michail Antonio (Nottingham Forest) x2
Steven MacLean (St Johnstone)
Tom Soares (Bury)

sheffield_united_fc FourJamie Ward (Derby County)
Nathan Dyer (Swansea City)
Scott Boden (Halifax Town) x2

peterborough-unitedNineAdam Newton (Woking)
Britt Assombalonga (Nottingham Forest)
Craig Mackail-Smith (Brighton and Hove Albion)
Emile Sinclair (Crawley Town)
Reuben Reid (Plymouth Argyle)
Scott Rendell (Woking) x4 – a one-man good seeing-to, and still not enough!

 

OVERALL RESULTS: DESPITE SCOTT RENDELL’S BEST (OR WORST?) EFFORTS, CHARLTON TAKE THE PRIZE THIS WEEK WITH A MASSIVE TEAM EFFORT!

Game 4 Season 2 (19-20 Aug 2014)

THE ‘BOYS ARE BACK IN LITTLE BRITAIN’ HEAD IN HANDS LEAGUE

So called due to Phil Lynott’s 65th and David Walliams’ 43rd


The second week of midweek fixtures means a lack of categories. Meanwhile, here is some music. La la lalala la la laa la laaala la la…

arsenal-boxOneAbu Ogogo (Dagenham and Redbridge)

charlton02 OneLeroy Lita (Barnsley)

sheffield-wednesday-box FourBenik Afobe (Milton Keynes Dons)
Leroy Lita (Barnsley)
Matty Fryatt (Nottingham Forest)
Stephen Bywater (Gillingham) – og

sheffield_united_fc ThreeHarry Bunn (Huddersfield Town)
Jamie Ward (Derby County) x2

peterborough-united FourAlex Pritchard (Brentford)
Britt Assombalonga (Nottingham Forest)
Josh McQuoid (Coventry City)
Kwesi Appiah (Cambridge United)

OVERALL RESULT: POINTS SHARED BETWEEN THE OWLS AND THE POSH, TAKING THEM TO JOINT TOP OF THE OVERALL TABLE!

Game 3 Season 2 (15-18 Aug 2014)

The ‘Jim Dale’s Titanic’s Waitin’, Talkin Italian’ HIH League

So called because of “Carry On” legend Jim Dale’s 79th birthday on the 15th, Terminator director James Cameron reaching 60 on the following day, and actor Robert de Niro hitting the big seven-oh the next day.

Telepathy
BEEHIVE TO WIGGY

4:12 Conor Pepper scores for Morton

Barney: ‘Nothing to be sneezed at for Morton’

4:14 Wiggy: ‘There’s nothing to be sneezed at’

Moyes
FRESH HELL

Mark Hughes’ Stoke City, losing at home to Aston Villa

UNPLEASANT LOCAL DERBY
UNPLEASANT LOCAL DERBY

Blackpool v Blackburn Rovers – Jimmy Armfield looks on approvingly.

Posh
ARE YOU MY FAG?

Abdullah Bell-Baggie at Tranmere Rovers, and the old standard Keanu Marsh-Brown at Barnet

Steve Claridge
CLARIDGE CLOCK

This has to be Chris Iwelumo, with 18 clubs and counting.

Zinger
ZINGER

“Southend go the extra Myles”, after Myles Weston’s goal.

Legendary Tony Gubba
STEALTH GUB
  • Doncaster Rovers 1-3 Port Vale – called at 0-3 on 41 by Howard
  • Greenock Morton 4-0 Stranraer – called at 0-3 on 46 by Chris
  • Scunthorpe United 0-4 Preston North End – called at 0-3 on 48 by Barney

MISC:

Chesterfield v Rochdale – 10 (“TEN”) minutes of extra time played! Sir Alex would be so proud……

And also –  a welcome return for A Trialist (at Elgin City). Good to see you back, A!

FINAL SCORES:

arsenal-boxTwoAnthony Stokes (Celtic)
Sebastian Larsson (Sunderland)

charlton02 NineChris Iwelumo (Chester)
David Mooney (Leyton Orient)
Izale McLeod (Crawley Town)
Kevin Lisbie (Leyton Orient)
Leroy Lita (Brighton and Hove Albion)
Martin Cranie (Barnsley)
Miguel Llera (Scunthorpe United) – og
Myles Weston (Southend United)
Paul Hayes (Wycombe Wanderers)

sheffield-wednesday-box FourKenwyne Jones (Cardiff City) x2
Leroy Lita (Brighton and Hove Albion)
Miguel Llera (Scunthorpe United) – og

sheffield_united_fc SevenAdam Chapman (Newport County)
Anthony Stokes (Celtic)
Billy Sharp (Leeds United)
Darius Henderson (Leyton Orient)
Izale McLeod (Crawley Town)
Jonathan Forte (Oldham Athletic)
Ryan Hall (Rotherham United)

peterborough-united EightBritt Assombalonga (Nottingham Forest) x2
Izale McLeod (Crawley Town)
James Chester (Hull City)
Kwesi Appiah (Cambridge United)
Reuben Reid (Plymouth Argyle)
Saido Berahino (West Bromwich Albion) x2

OVERALL RESULT: A FIRST WIN OF THE SEASON FOR MAT & EMMA’S CHARLTON!

Game 2 Season 2 (12-13 Aug 2014)

THE I HAVE NO TITLE MIDWEEK-MADNESS HEAD-IN-HANDS LEAGUE

So called because…er, it has no title, and it is a bare-bones edition due to it being the first midweek outing this season.

arsenal-box OneAnthony Stokes (Celtic)

charlton02 FourCharlie MacDonald (Barnet)
Izale McLeod (Crawley Town)
Michael Smith (Swindon Town) x2

sheffield-wednesday-box FiveBenik Afobe (Milton Keynes Dons)
Jon Shaw (Gateshead)
Michail Antonio (Nottingham Forest)
Ritchie Humphreys (Chesterfield)
Ryan Lowe (Bury)

sheffield_united_fc SevenAnthony Stokes (Celtic)
Izale McLeod (Crawley Town)
Jon Stead (Huddersfield Town)
Kyle McFadzean (Milton Keynes Dons)
Michael Brown (Port Vale)
Nick Blackman (Reading)
Shaun Miller (Coventry City)

peterborough-united EightAaron McLean (Bradford City)
Andre Boucaud (Dagenham and Redbridge)
Craig Mackail-Smith (Brighton and Hove Albion)
Izale McLeod (Crawley Town)
Matthew Briggs (Millwall)
Reuben Reid (Plymouth Argyle) x2
Shaun Jeffers (Newport County)

OVERALL RESULT: A NARROW WIN FOR THE POSH IN THE FACE OF STIFF COMPETITIION. WELL DONE BARNEY!

Game 1 Season 2 (8-11 Aug 2014)

Awaking, as if from a deep sleep, the Head-In-Hands beast groaned in pain and slowly got to its’ feet, shaking off the dust and leaves, and looked around at the unfamiliar surroundings. It was a strange and frightening new world out there.

Re-introducing…………

THE HEAD IN HANDS LEAGUE

motto3

The Amelie’s Chopper HIH league

So called because of thr birthdays of Amelie star Audrey Tautou (36) and ‘Chopper’ actor Eric Bana (46). Sadly, this is not a biopic of the venerable Raleigh bicycle, or even a 70s style sex comedy starring Robin Askwith and Bob Todd.

Oyster Card
TONY CRAIG’s OYSTER CARD

Nothing

Phone Box Action
LIVE FROM THE PHONE BOX

Stevenage v Hartlepool at the Lamex Stadium.

Dont call me Shirley
DON’T CALL ME SHIRLEY

Wycombe Wanderers’ Paris Cowan-Hall

Glenn & Chris
DIAMOND LIGHTS

 Peter Murphy, Veteran Bauhaus mainman also clearly moonlighting at Wycombe Wanderers.

Churchill
REVERSE CHURCHILL

 Dagenham & Redbridge 0-3 Morecambe, which was goalless at half-time. “Keep doing what you’re doing, lads”  Errrm….

Zinger
MR SMITH’S ZINGER

 ‘Scoring is clearly Jonathan’s Forte’ :-0

Legendary Tony Gubba
STEALTH GUB

Howard: Chester 0-5 Barnet – called at 0-3 on 36
Chris: Aldershot 3-1 Altrincham called at 3-0 on 51
Barney: Huddersfield Town 0-4 Bournemouth, called at 0-3 on 52.

MISCELLANY

Goalkeeper Mark Oxley scored in Hibernian’s 2-1 win over Livingston (LINK)

Botta Bia Bi scored on his debut for Falkirk.  Signed from Clydebank boys club, of course!

FINAL SCORES

Arsenal LogoNil
charlton02
SevenIzale McLeod (Crawley Town)
Lee Cook (Barnet) x2
Charlie Macdonald (Barnet)
Michael Smith (Swindon Town) x2
Yann Kermorgant (Bournemouth)

sheffield-wednesday-box EightDaryl Murphy (Ipswich Town)
David McGoldrick (Ipswich Town)
Kenwyne Jones (Cardiff City)
Mark Beevers (Millwall)
Michail Antonio (Nottingham Forest)
Reda Johnson (Coventry City) x2
Steven MacLean (St Johnstone)

sheffield_united_fcSevenChristian Nade (Raith Rovers)
Darius Henderson (Leyton Orient)
Izale McLeod (Crawley Town)
Jonathan Forte (Oldham Athletic) x2
Kyle McFadzean (Milton Keynes Dons)
Nicky Law (Rangers)

peterborough-unitedFiveChris Whelpdale (Stevenage)
David Ball (Fleetwood Town)
Izale McLeod (Crawley Town)
Scott Rendell (Woking) x2

OVERALL RESULT

A NARROW WIN FOR CHRIS’ OWLS TO KICK OFF THE SEASON!