THE Jarhead, The Petrolhead and the Pothead HEAD-IN-HANDS LEAGUE
So named because of the weekend birthdays of Jake Gyllenhaal (34), Richard Hammond (46) and Keith Richards (73).
THE CATEGORIES
Zinger
None recorded this time. I blame the dark nights.
He Sh*ts Goals
Sean Tuton (Halifax Town) – NO!
Conor Washington (Peterborough United) – NO!
Lasse Vibe (Brentford) – YEP!
[Note-as of the new year, this Category will be renamed “The Dread Hand of Barney” due to the curse placed on these players once Barney has chosen them. Lasse Vibe has defied the curse – he will soon learn…]
Pagga!
And a regrettable lack of violence on the pitch on the week. Tsk.
Tony Craig’s Oyster Card
And it’s yet another blank for this category. We may have to increase the criteria for this category to fifty miles….
Known To The Authorities
Well there is Adam Chapman of Mansfield Town’s conviction for death by dangerous driving (see HERE)
And Brad Dack – no actual convictions but was named in court during former team mate Nathan Nyalfi’s trial for rape (see HERE). It’s not a prison sentence, but it doesn’t exactly make him look innocent either…
It Don’t Mean Nuthin’
It clearly didn’t for the players anyway as satisfying acts of revenge on erstwhile teams were put to one side in the week before Christmas. Heartwarming. Like Christmas Day in the trenches…
Where’s Russell Martin?
Southend United 4-1 Bury. That would be just over 500 miles on the round trip on a Friday night for those Bury fans. They could’ve made a holiday of it, as I bet Southend is brilliant in mid-December.
Stealth Gub
Barney – was out but couldn’t be bothered to call one – FAILED!
Howard – called a Tactical stealth Gub (to stop Chelsea running away with it) Chelsea v Sunderland at 2-0 on 21 min – Finished 3-1 – FAILED! (Or not!)
Chris – AWOL!
Miscellany
It’s a tip of the hat to Hamilton’s Jamie Sendles-White who was assigned to man-mark Dundee’s leading goalscorer Kane Hemmings. After seeing Hemmings score three (Including this beauty – CLICK HERE) and then providing a set up for the fourth goal (after only 23 minutes!), Hamilton’s player-boss Martin Canning poured on the Fresh Hell and substituted the ex-QPR man, presumably Making His Ma Proud in the process. A double whammy there.
All this is overshadowed by the reappearance of A TRIALIST, spotted in Arbroath’s 2-0 away victory at Clyde in Scottish League Two. He was “named locally”, as the Police say, as “Andy Ryan”. A covername if ever I heard one.
The Results
Benik Afobe (Wolverhampton Wanderers) – counting double
Connor Wickham (Crystal Palace)
Jimmy Smith (Crawley Town)
Leon Clarke (Bury)
Ryan Lowe (Crewe Alexandra, on loan from Bury)
Tony McMahon (Bradford City)
David Ball (Fleetwood Town)
Joe Newell (Rotherham United)
Lee Frecklington (Rotherham United)
Nicky Ajose (Swindon Town)
Danny Green (Luton Town)
David Mooney (Southend United)
Jordan Cook (Walsall) x2
Lee Cook (Eastleigh)
Leon Clarke (Bury)
Paul Benson (Luton Town)
Simon Walton (Crawley Town) og
Benik Afobe (Wolverhampton Wanderers)
Adam Chapman (Mansfield Town)
Chris Porter (Colchester United)
Danny Philliskirk (Oldham Athletic)
Lyle Taylor (AFC Wimbledon) x2
Ryan Cresswell (Northampton Town)
Sam Vokes (Burnley)
Simon Walton (Crawley Town) – og
Tony McMahon (Bradford City)