Season 3 Game 32 (22-25 Jan)

THE Later…a bite from Spud HEAD-IN-HANDS LEAGUE

So named because of the weekend birthdays of Jools Holland (58), Luis Suarez (28) and Ewan Bremner (44).

THE CATEGORIES

ZingerZinger
Barney:
Just the one this week, due to your panel being in three different places. Be thankful for small mercies. ‘Bolton’s Holding ‘HANDS’ the Trotters the lead’
Chris: Absent
Howard: Dunno. Too long ago to remember

The Dread Hand Of BarneyThe Dread Hand of Barney
Claims a clean sweep with Swindon’s Jonathan Obika, Oxford’s Kemar Roofe and Dunfermline’s Michael Moffat all hiding behind the sofa.

DON'T CALL ME SHIRLEYDon’t Call Me Shirley
Spurs’ Jan Vertonghen’s late own goal means we actually fill every category this week. How nice.

Local Boy Makes GoodLocal Boy Makes Good
Step forward Woking’s Bruno Andrade, born in Viseu, Portugal.

Fresh HellFresh Hell
It could only be Kilmarnock’s now ex-manager Gary Locke, who saw his team go 4-0 down in the first 45 minutes against Dundee Utd, who are edging towards the travel pages. Shortly after full time (when it finished 5-1), Locke was ‘relieved of his duties’ by the Killie board.

UNPLEASANT LOCAL DERBYUnpleasant Local Derby
Crewe Alexandra v Wigan Athletic. Because it’s Crewe. And Wigan. Textbook.

Stealth GubStealth Gub
Barney
– called Grimsby Town v Altrincham at at 2-0 on 18 min – Finished – 5-0 – GUBBED!
Howard
– called Newport County v Dagenham & Redbridge at 0-2 on 27 min – Finished – 2-2 – FAILED!
Chris
– called Northampton Town v Morecambe at 2-0 on 40
min – Finished – 3-1 – FAILED!

Old SchoolOld School
Halifax’s Samuel Walker and Charlton’s Harry Lennon netted, possibly after a through ball from the ageless inside left Stanley Matthews and beating George Eastham in the air respectively.

Miscellany

It was a busy weekend for the celebrated A Trialist – booked for East Stirlingshire, he bounced back to score for Montrose in their 2-1 win at Clyde.
A Brighton (one in either end – goal, that is) is a rare beast indeed (or it is when Barney doesn’t pick it to be a Category). Anthony Pilkington succeeded here, scoring twice for Cardiff and adding an own goal. This was almost a Double Brighton. What would we call that Barney, A San Fran?

The Results

sheffield-wednesday-box
ThreeBenik Afobe (Bournemouth)
Leon Clarke (Bury)
Steven MacLean (St Johnstone)


SixJoe Newell (Rotherham United)
Josh Simpson (Plymouth Argyle)
Liam Dickinson (Guiseley)
Nathaniel Mendez-Laing (Rochdale)
Tyrone Barnett (Southend United, on loan from Shrewsbury Town)x2

charlton02
OneLeon Clarke (Bury)

Arsenal
FourAnthony Stokes (Hibernian, on loan from Celtic)
Benik Afobe (Bournemouth)
Brandon Ormonde-Ottewill (Swindon Town)
Jay Simpson (Leyton Orient)


SevenAnthony Stokes (Hibernian, on loan from Celtic)
Danny Philliskirk (Oldham Athletic)
Gary Naysmith (East Fife) – og
Harry Bunn (Huddersfield Town)
Jamie Ward (Nottingham Forest)
John-Joe O’Toole (Northampton Town)
Sam Vokes (Burnley)

OVERALL RESULT: BARNEY FEARED THE WORST HERE, BUT A RE-CHECK DISCOVERED A FEW HIDDEN EX-BLADES!

Season 3 Game 31 (15-18 Jan)

THE The Greatest Saxon must surely score HEAD-IN-HANDS LEAGUE

So named because of the weekend birthdays of the birthday celebrations for Muhammad Ali (73), Saxon foghorn Biff Byford (65) and the ‘prolific’ ex-Arsenal striker and former Category, Nicklas Bendtner (still only 28) Note: That’s 28 in the same way that Joss Ackland (born on the 29th February)being 22

THE CATEGORIES

 

ZingerZinger
Barney:
Amos ‘Brearley’ put his own team in trouble – one there for old-school fans of Emmerdale Farm, that’s FARM… {that was  Ben Amos, getting sent off for Bolton Wanderers, in case you can’t work out the cryptic clue}
Chris: Oliver makes a ‘Burke’ out of Bolton
Howard: Keanu {Marsh-Brown} turns on the ‘Speed’ for Forest Green.

The Dread Hand Of BarneyThe Dread Hand of Barney
Clearly has no Spanish translation to date, which would explain Hull’s Abel Hernandez’s hat-trick, though how Morecambe’s Shaun Miller defied the malevolence is anyone’s guess. A clean sweep was averted by Peterhead’s semi-legendary part-timer Rory MacAllister failing to score despite his team hitting five against Stranraer. It’s kind of reassuring that quasi-supernatural curses also have trouble finding a reliable plumber.

Make Ya Ma ProudMake Ya Ma Proud
Jose Riga returning to Charlton is a nice story. And then reality kicks in. Were this a Hollywood film, the 6-0 Mullahing his side got would have been reversed (and been over Manchester United). He wins the rosette, though Sunderland’s Jan Kirchoff deflecting a goal into his own net and giving away a penalty on debut made for a worthy adversary.

Reverse ChurchillReverse Churchill
Sunderland’s Sam Allardyce breaks the run of blanks for this category, turning an honourable 1-1 halftime draw into a 1-4 ‘Dunkirk’ at White Hart Lane, helped in no small way by Herr Kirchoff’s star turn (see above)

Claridge ClockClaridge Clock
It’s Yeovil’s ‘old stager’ (trad. arr. J Mohammed, BBC Final Score) Darren Ward and his 11 previous clubs who make the grade, though an honourable mention to Ipswich’s Cameron Stewart, who has 10 at the age of 24.

Glenn & ChrisDiamond Lights
Joe Walsh can be seen brandishing a double-headed guittar (sorry Barney, I put out my own Superinjunction to stop the usage of the ‘word’ geetar) in The Eagles’ Hotel California video. He also scored a late winner for Milton Keynes Dons against Reading. His fellow Eagles guitarist Glenn Frey’s passing was announced a few days later. Coincidence? (Strokes chin as screen fades and Twilight Zone theme kicks in)

Born into BurberryBorn In Burberry
After some debate over Junior Hoilett’s eligibility, Northampton’s John-Joe O’Toole scores and makes all the voter’s lives easier.

Stealth GubStealth Gub
Barney
– called Partick v Dundee 0-3 on 18 min – Finished 2-4 FAILED!
Howard
– called Newcastle v West Ham at 2-0 on 15 min – Finished 2-1 FAILED!
Chris
– called Forest v Bolton at 2-0 on 29 min – Finished 3-0 FAILED!

Miscellany

What’s the first thing you think of when someone says ‘Cheltenham’? The races? The ladies college? You may well think that. However, this category is bought to you by the World Of Smile Stadium (aka Whaddon Road), home of Cheltenham Town FC. World of Smile was described by our House & Home correspondent Barney as “knock-off garden furniture”, just in case you’re wondering.

We’d also like to mention John Terry’s ‘Brighton’ for Chelsea and Everton but we can’t, (CENSORED) due to a Superinjunction that we’re not allowed to mention (CENSORED). Thankyou Ryan Giggs.

The Results

sheffield-wednesday-box
SixBen Marshall (Blackburn Rovers)
Benik Afobe (Bournemouth)
Daryl Murphy (Ipswich Town)
Leon Clarke (Bury) x2
Tony McMahon (Bradford City)


EightBen Nugent (Crewe Alexandra) – og
Charlie Lee (Stevenage) x2
David Norris (Blackpool)
George Boyd (Burnley)
Jonathan Obika (Swindon Town)
Nicky Ajose (Swindon Town) x2

charlton02
NineAdebayo Azeez (AFC Wimbledon)
Cameron Stewart (Doncaster Rovers, on loan from Ipswich Town)
Darren Ward (Yeovil Town)
Jonathan Obika (Swindon Town)
Leon Clarke (Bury) x2
Mark Hudson (Huddersfield Town)
Martyn Waghorn (Rangers) x2

Arsenal
TwoBenik Afobe (Bournemouth)
Cesc Fabregas (Chelsea)


SevenDanny Philliskirk (Oldham Athletic)
Jamie Ward (Nottingham Forest)
John-Joe O’Toole (Northampton Town)
Lyle Taylor (AFC Wimbledon)
Matt Phillips (Queen’s Park Rangers)
Shaun Miller (Morecambe)
Tony McMahon (Bradford City)

OVERALL RESULT: A NARROW WIN FOR CHARLTON. THREE WINS IN A ROW!

 

Season 3 Game 30 (Midweek Madness 12-13 Jan)

THE Bond Girl’s Bad Ass HEAD-IN-HANDS LEAGUE (MIDWEEK MADNESS)

So named because of the midweek birthdays of Gemma Arterton(30), Katy Brand (37) and Suggs (55).

A total of 54 English & Scottish clubs playing over Tuesday and Wednesday (taking us over the 50-club threshold) means it’s a rare Midweek edition!

THE CATEGORIES

Nothing here this time!

Miscellany

This section was emptier than a hermit’s address book (thankyou Blackadder) so here is a random fact from the 12th – In 2001, Sven-Goran Eriksson became the first foreigner to coach the English national team. How time flies….
No fascinating football fact for the 13th, but it was 12 years to the day that we lost Harold Shipman. Now there’s a cheery thought !

Actually, here’s some randomness from 13 January 2002 courtesy of Fulham’s website: “Jean Tigana had always envisaged that a partnership of Louis Saha and Steve Marlet could strike terror into defences, but with Marlet, a record £11 million signing, injured until recently, the Fulham manager has had to show patience. Yesterday that wait ended as their goals saw off Middlesbrough.” Ah Steve “£11million!” Marlet…he’s probably stacking shelves in Tesco’s these days….

The Results

sheffield-wednesday-box
TwoGary Madine (Bolton Wanderers) 1 – counts double


TwoGeorge Boyd (Burnley)
Ryan Bennett (Norwich City) – og

charlton02
FourDavid Button (Brentford)
Harry Arter (Bournemouth)
Mark Hudson (Huddersfield Town) 1 – counts double

Arsenal
NilA clean sheet. Not had one of those for a bit…


ThreeMatthew Lowton (Burnley)
Sam Vokes (Burnley)
Shaun Miller (Morecambe)

OVERALL RESULT: TWO WINS IN A ROW FOR THE ADDICKS ON A THIN NIGHT FOR US ALL!

Season 3 Game 29 (8-11 Jan)

THE Sheila and Kate Funk My life up HEAD-IN-HANDS LEAGUE

So named because of the weekend birthdays of Jamie T (30), Kate Middleton (34) and Paolo Nutini (29) who all got the cake.

Note: For those unlike Barney who don’t know who Jamie T is, he did a song called ‘Sheila’. It’s probably music that the kids (kidz?) like..

THE CATEGORIES

ZingerZinger
Barney:
‘Barrow have a thousand reasons to thank Simon Grand for his goal’.
Chris: ‘{Conor} Chaplin makes a Charlie out of Ipswich’
Howard: ‘Greg Rutherford scores for Arbroath – are Elgin heading for the Long Jump?’

He Shi*s GoalsThe Dread Hand of Barney
‘Cambridge’s Adam Berry, Watford’s Odion Ighalo and Hibernian’s Jason Cummings, I am Barney, destroyer of goalscorers, FEEL MY WRATH!!!’ And lo, it was so that none of these players scored, and a legend was born.

Pagga!Pagga!
Alas, it’s another blank. Extinction beckons….

Tony Craig's Oyster CardTony Craig’s Oyster Card
We haven’t had too many nominations for this category over the season but the answer may have been hiding in plain sight. Wayne Rooney. Everton to Manchester being 35 miles and that.

Fresh HellFresh Hell
Originally the honours were to go to Barrow’s manager Paul Cox, who saw his team concede three goals in stoppage time against Tranmere for a 3-4 home reverse. But we were swiftly directed many miles South to deepest Essex, where Phil Brown held a two hour lock-in after his Southend outfit gave up four unanswered goals in a 4-2 defeat at Swindon. ‘Harsh words were spoken and will continue to be spoken unless we put it right against Peterborough’, he stated. This is going to be one to watch, as it’s not like any previous teams he’s managed have completely tuned him out after a public rocketing (Cough, Hull City, cough)

It Dont Mean NuthinIt Don’t Mean Nuthin’
It certainly would’ve meant a lot to Peterborough United boss Graham Westley, who saw his current team knock out his old team Preston North End 2-0. Westley left Deepdale under a veritable downpour, let alone a cloud, after publically stating his players were texting their lineups to the opposition. The players, for their part, issued a joint statement depreciating his tactical inability and refusal to self-apportion any blame for Preston’s position in the Championship.

The Leeds United v Rotherham United result (2-0) shouldn’t be overlooked either, being ‘The Revenge of Cellino’ over Neil “I had to park in Ilkley” Redfearn.

Where's Russell Martin?Where’s Russell Martin?
The FA Cup draw was largely kind in terms of distance to travel, though Sunderland fans would beg to differ after their ultimately-wasted 550 mile round trip to the Emirates.

Stealth GubStealth Gub
Barney
– called Motherwell v Cove Rangers (now there’s a safe bet being rather like calling Rangers v Sheepherders FC) at 2-0 on 7 min – Finished 5-0 (textbook Darwinism though) – SUCCESS!!

Howard
– called Norwich City v Manchester City at 0-2 on 20 min – Finished 0-3 – FAILED! (But as a Tactical Stealth Gub, not a total failure, as Man City only got one more)

Chris – called Swindon Town v Southend United at 0-2 on 13 min – Finished 4-2 – FAILED (and then some)!

Miscellany

Brought to you this week by St Mirren Park, home of, er St Mirren. Built in 2009, the ground has remained sans-sponsor (Cheers, commercial department) until November 2015, when it was renamed The Paisley 2021 Stadium in recognition of their attempts to become the UK City of Culture 2021. It all seems rather Stonybridge to me, but their opposition to date is Coventry, Sunderland and for crying out loud, Stoke-On-Trent, so they’ve got a reasonable shout.

The Results

sheffield-wednesday-box
ThreeAdam Davies (Barnsley) – og
Michael Morrison (Birmingham City)
Mike Jones (Oldham Athletic)


10Jeff Hughes (Tranmere Rovers, on loan from Cambridge United)
Jonathan Obika (Swindon Town) x2
Kieran Agard (Bristol City)
Lee Tomlin (Bournemouth)
Nicky Ajose (Swindon Town) x2
Saido Berahino (West Bromwich Albion)
Shaun Jeffers (Yeovil Town)
Tyrone Barnett (Southend United, on loan from Shrewsbury Town)

charlton02
Carlton Cole (Celtic)
Danny Seaborne (Partick Thistle)
Darren Bent (Derby County)
Dorian Dervite (Bolton Wanderers) – og
Jonathan Obika (Swindon Town) x2
Martyn Waghorn (Rangers) x3
Marvin Sordell (Colchester United) 1 – counts double against old club
Michael Morrison (Birmingham City)

Arsenal
OneGavin Hoyte (Barnet)


ThreeJamie Ward (Nottingham Forest)
Ryan Cresswell (Northampton Town) – og
Sean McGinty (Aldershot Town)

OVERALL RESULT: A WIN FOR MAT & EMMA, OUR SOUTHERN CONTINGENT!

Season 3 Game 28 (1-4 Jan 2016)

THE Karen MacDonald and Mini Me’s Stairway To Heaven HEAD-IN-HANDS LEAGUE

So named because of the weekend birthdays of Suranne Jones 38, Verne Troyer, 47 and Led Zeppelin’s John Paul Jones (no relation to Suranne), 70.
.

THE CATEGORIES

ZingerZinger
Barney:
‘Martial lays down the law for Man Yoo’
Chris: Strangely quiet
Howard: ‘The Blades have had too much Turkey in Oztumer’ {as Posh’s Turkish player Erhun Oztumer makes it 2-1 to the Posh}

The Dread Hand Of BarneyThe Dread Hand of Barney
Swindon’s Jonathan Obika, Arsenal’s Olivier Giroud and Ayr United’s Jordan Preston all saw their goalscoring hopes crushed – CRUSHED, I SAY! – by my accursed predictions MWAHAHAHA…(Coughs)

Day Trip To BrightonDay Trip To Brighton
Always a difficult one to fill. You can take that how you like (and I dare say they often do). That was a feeble attempt to disguise the fact that one again, no one scored for and against their team. Could be a category under threat from extinction….

Known To The AuthoritiesKnown To The Authorities
The best on offer was West Brom’s Stephane Sessegnon’s drink-driving conviction. Fined a draconian £60 and three points on his licence. That’ll show him.

Are You My Fag?Are You My Fag?
Donny’s leftback Aaron Taylor-Sinclair certainly is. Barney claims to be more of a cigarillo.

Darwinism In ActionDarwinism In Action
That would be Crewe (23rd) 0-5 Coventry (4th).

Stealth GubStealth Gub
Barney
– ambitiously called Dunfermline v Cowdenbeath at 1-0 on 18 min – Finished 2-1 – FAILED!
Howard
– called Portsmouth v Crawley Town at 2-0 on 22 min – Finished 3-0 – FAILED!
Chris
– called Chesterfield v Shrewsbury Town at 3-0 on 47 min – Finished 7-1 – DEFINITE WINNER!

Youre not a kid anymoreYou’re Not A Kid Anymore
Another West Brom player here in Jonny Evans, 28. What’s wrong with Jonathan? It’s a perfectly good name. Not like Neil or something. EDIT: Anyone called Neil should follow the lead of Shaka Hislop whose birth name was indeed Neil.

Miscellany

This week featuing the “Cheaper Insurance Stadium”, home of Dumbarton FC. The ground was formerly known as The BetButler (Liquidated) Stadium, The DL Cameron (died) Stadium and the Strathclyde Homes (bankrupt) Stadium. With sponsors judgement like that it’s not a great shock the club is anxious to move to a new ground after just 15 years….

The Results

sheffield-wednesday-box
FourJacques Maghoma (Birmingham City)
James Tavernier (Rangers)
Luke Foster (Southport)
Michail Antonio (West Ham United)


ThreeJonson Clarke-Harris (Rotherham United) OG
Josh McQuoid (Luton Town)
Luke Williams (Scunthorpe United)

charlton02
TwoAdebayo Azeez (AFC Wimbledon)
Martyn Waghorn (Rangers)

Arsenal
ThreeJay Simpson (Leyton Orient) x2
Rhys Murphy (Oldham Athletic)


SevenChris Porter (Colchester United)
Craig Beattie (Stirling Albion)
Jon Stead (Notts County)
Kingsley James (Halifax Town)
Lyle Taylor (AFC Wimbledon)
Nick Blackman (Reading)
Shaun Miller (Morecambe)

OVERALL RESULT: LUFFY’S WORRYING RUN CONTINUES – A WIN FOR THE BLADES!

Season 3 Game 27 (Boxing Day Bank Holiday – 28 Dec)

THE Bravo Two Zero’s X Factor at Downton Abbey HEAD-IN-HANDS LEAGUE

So bizzarely-named because of the weekend birthdays of Andy McNab (56), Little Mix’s Jade Thirlwall (23) and Dame Maggie Smith (81).

THE CATEGORIES

ZingerZinger
Barney:
‘Burton’s Akins brings the pain for Swindon’
Chris: “No comment”
Howard: ‘Nicky Clark’s goal for Rangers, was it a ‘highlight’ – or – Did he curl it in?

He Shi*s GoalsHe Sh*ts Goals
Alan Judge (Brentford) – Ah, No
Dan Holman (Woking) – Next!
RhyMurphy (Oldham Athletic) – Ay, Yup!

DON'T CALL ME SHIRLEYDon’t Call Me Shirley
No incidences of goalscoring androgyny were spotted throughout eight divisions of football.

Make Ya Ma ProudMake Ya Ma Proud
Lincolnshire Echo 27/12 ‘Lincoln captain Luke Waterfall fired up* for County derby against Grimsby’
BBC Sport live text from the game – “29:44 Waterfall (Lincoln) shown Red Card for a bad foul on Nathan Arnold.”
* Too fired up, it would seem.

Reverse ChurchillReverse Churchill
Newport County are(WERE!) resurgent under John Sheridan, possibly because they’re a full-time outfit again. However, that 1-0 half-time lead against Sheridan’s former club Plymouth, developed into a 1-2 home reverse.

Fresh HellFresh Hell
Just when it seemed the Christmas cheer had lasted long enough for any footballing humiliation to remain unreported, the old reliable standby for strange results called the Highland League comes into play. Formartine 10-3 Buckie Thistle (6-1 at HT). 7th place Buckie Thistle are nowt if not entertaining. F52 A69 after 25 games. Intriguingly the current headline on Buckie’s website is a reminder about unacceptable behaviour, possibly aimed more at players than fans.
EDIT: Fresh Hell confirmed as player-boss Graeme Stewart returned from three match ban to play in above fixture.

Born into BurberryBorn In Burberry
Shrewsbury loanee Larnell Cole gets the job done here, though Wigan Athletic’s Congolese striker Jordy Hiwula would’ve been contending were he British.

Stealth GubStealth Gub
Barney
– called Forest Green Rovers v Kidderminster Harriers at 1-0 on 17 min – Finished – 3-0 – FAILED!
Chris
– called Stevenage v Dagenham & Redbridge at 0-2 on 20 min – Finished – 1-3 – FAILED!
Howard
– called something that didn’t come off and wasn’t recorded by Barney. Allegedly I duplicated Chris’ choice. Still therefore a FAIL!

Miscellany

Nothing here.

The Results

sheffield-wednesday-box
FourBarry Corr (Cambridge United)
Gary Madine (Bolton Wanderers)
Jacques Maghoma (Birmingham City)
Michail Antonio (West Ham United)


ThreeIzale McLeod (Notts County) x2
Krystian Pearce (Mansfield Town)

charlton02
FiveCarl Jenkinson (West Ham United, on loan from Arsenal)
Izale McLeod (Notts County) x2
Jack Munns (Cheltenham Town)
Martyn Waghorn (Rangers)

Arsenal
TwoJay Simpson (Leyton Orient)
Rhys Murphy (Oldham Athletic)


NineIzale McLeod (Notts County) x2
Jason Holt (Rangers) x2
Kingsley James (Halifax Town)
Lyle Taylor (AFC Wimbledon)
Paul Gallagher (Preston North End)
Scott Boden (Newport County)
Shaun Miller (Morecambe)

OVERALL RESULT: CLEAR WIN FOR LUFFY!

Season 3 Game 26 (Boxing Day)

THE Don’t Leave Home? Why? This Is England! HEAD-IN-HANDS LEAGUE

So named because of the Christmassy birthdays of Dido (46), Annie Lennox (61) and director Shane Meadows (47), who all get double pressies. Maybe.

THE CATEGORIES

ZingerZinger
Barney:
Jake Livermore, back from his drugs ban, hits a snorter
Chris: Enjoying a Xmas Dinner, so was not able to join in the ‘fun’
Howard: A ‘crisp’ finish from Samuel Walker (Another Old School name there) – did he cost a ‘packet’?

He Shi*s GoalsHe Sh*ts Goals
{John}Baird at Falkirk didn’t expose the opposition defence, {Matt} Rhead at Lincoln was illiterate from a goalscoring perspective but {Paddy} Madden at Scunthorpe made Doncaster’s fans irate. See what I’ve done there? Too much time, not enough life (sigh, reaches for Prozac). Disclaimer: text by Barney.

And stay out!…And Stay Out
!
It’s Inverness Caledonian Thistle’s Greg Tansey: Altrincham, Inverness, Stevenage, Inverness. That’ll do.

Claridge ClockClaridge Clock
The timepiece goes to Eastleigh’s Ben Strevens, with 12 clubs and millions of motorway service station points, probably enough to exchange for an entire paper clip!!! (used)

Glenn & ChrisDiamond Lights
This category gets a stay of execution after someone other than Leeds’ Chris Wood scores. Step forward Paul Rodgers, the Free, Bad Company vocalist, Bromley fullback and vocalist with the remaining members of Queen, in order of appreciation. Being a former Arsenal man, I wish he was still ‘on tour’.

UNPLEASANT LOCAL DERBYUnpleasant Local Derby
A couple of worthy contenders to lose your Christmas dinner over. Doncaster Rovers v Scunthorpe United (Just 12 miles via the 292 bus, operated by the mighty Selwyn Motors Ltd) or Colchester United v Southend United (chav-tastic).

Stealth GubStealth Gub
Barney
– called Manchester City v Sunderland at 2-0 on 16 min – Finished 4-1 – FAILED!
Howard
– called Sheffield Wednesday v Birmingham City at 2-0 on 45 min – Finished 3-0 – FAILED!
Chris
– nothing recorded here – FAILED!

Old SchoolOld School
Harry Kane at Spurs and George Baldock at Oxford would have won the approval of their managers, standing on the sideline, probably wearing bowler hats, sporting luxuriant moustaches and tweed suits.

Travel PagesThe Travel Pages
And it’s nearly a new year, so thoughts turn to the Summer holidays and who do we see on The Travel Pages? Why it’s Rothes (who incidentally lost 7-1 to Clachnacuddin) – owners of an impressive W 0 D 1 L 22 F 12 A 126 GD -114 record (as of Boxing Day), we’ll continue to await their bottom of the table one-pointer with Fort William (W 2 D 0 L 17 F 20 A 67 GD -47) with some trepidation, as the weather (or the Footballing Gods) intervened. I’d love to see this one live on Sky…

Miscellany

A round of applause to Clachnacuddin, who at least only had a short crawl back to their homes having been Dry Wyngarded 1-10 at Grant Street Park by Brora. Consistent effort too, conceding 5 in both halves.

The Results

sheffield-wednesday-box
OneBarry Corr (Cambridge United)


FourJake Livermore (Hull City)
Joe Newell (Rotherham United)
Jonathan Obika (Swindon Town)
Jonson Clarke-Harris (Rotherham United)

charlton02
ThreeDavid Mooney (Southend United)
Jonathan Obika (Swindon Town)
Paul Hayes (Wycombe Wanderers)

Arsenal
FourAnthony Jeffrey (Boreham Wood, on loan from Concord Rangers)
Jay Simpson (Leyton Orient)
Paul Rodgers (Bromley)
Roarie Deacon (Crawley Town)


OneMichael Tonge (Stevenage)

OVERALL RESULT: AS IF GETTING A GOOD SEEING-TO FROM SOUTHAMPTON WASN’T BAD ENOUGH, BOXING DAY SEES MY FIRST ‘WIN’ – HALF EACH WITH BARNEY’S POSH!