THE ‘Just My Luck, Papa Lazarou is The Boss’ HEAD-IN-HANDS LEAGUE
So named because of the weekend birthdays of Chris Pine (37), the League of Gentlemen’s Reece Shearsmith (47) and Melissa McCarthy (48).
THE CATEGORIES
Zinger
None listed, which seems unbelievable. How about ‘Bowen [Jarod Bowen] hits the bullseye for Hull’? No? Oh well…
The Dread Hand of Barney
Slightly displeased with the lack of global war despite the best efforts of the North Korean leadership, it decided to take matters into its own hands by blocking the sun (though not in the city of Liverpool sense). Alas, even the eldritch powers of our supernatural colleague couldn’t manage any more than an hour of non-solar action. Further disappointing news arrived due to Dunfermline’s Joe Cardle and Bristol Rovers’ Billy Bodin both defied the (almost) undefiable and netted, whilst Brentford’s Neal Maupay never left the bench. Overall reaction? ‘Despondent’
Make Ya Ma Proud
A handsome round of applause heading to Accrington Stanley, where Mehki Leacock-McLeod was on as a sub on 57 minutes, and off, via a red card, on 66. A solid effort there.
Known To The Authorities
None. The closest was probably Luton Town’s Danny Hylton, who was fined £1000 for racial abuse and given an 8-match ban in 2012.
Born In Burberry
One very clear winner in Solihull Moors’ Tahvon Campbell. Somewhere just north of Birmingham there’s hope for Dappy’s solo career.
Bendtner!
No callers it would seem, rather like Bendtner himself, who I believe is at Rosenborg. Not Arsenal or AC Milan anymore.
Stealth Gub
Barney – PASS! – FAILED!
Howard – called Howard – Millwall 4-0 Norwich, called at 3-0 on 24 min – Finished – FAILED!
Chris – PASS! – FAILED!
An Evening With Paul Robinson
Rochdale v Bury. Not only an unpleasant local derby, but a thoroughly dull nil-nil draw with 3 shots on target. Doubly impressive for Rochdale as Bury’s keeper Joe Murphy saw red with 40-odd minutes left.
Miscellany
Torquay United v Solihull Moors was clearly the place to be for odd events, as ‘The Moors’ (dear oh dear) keeper Nathan Vaughan (“two first names!”) scored direct from a goal kick, the ball bouncing over the recently re-signed, debut-making Gulls’ keeper Dan Laverncombe, which could well configure a second ‘Make Ya Ma Proud’ of the week.
An almost unique triple-whammy at The Banks’ Stadium, where Luke Leahy notched up a “Brighton” in Walsall’s 3-3 with Bradford City, where the Saddlers’ recovery from 0-2 down at half time and 0-3 through Leahy’s own goal would surely countenance a “Reverse Churchill” and subsequent “Fresh Hell” to Bradford’s Stuart McCall.
The Results
Ayo Obileye (Eastleigh)
Chris O’Grady (Chesterfield)
Jimmy Smith (Crawley Town)
Steven MacLean (St Johnstone)
George Moncur (Barnsley)
Kane Ferdinand (Woking)
Kwesi Appiah (AFC Wimbledon)
Kyle Vassell (Blackpool)
Lee Angol (Mansfield Town)
Reuben Reid (Exeter City) x2
Ayo Obileye (Eastleigh)
Frank Nouble (Newport County) x3
Joe Pigott (Maidstone United on loan from Cambridge United)
Kyel Reid (Colchester United on loan from Coventry City)
Rhys Browne (Yeovil Town)
Anthony Stokes (Hibernian)
Cesc Fabregas (Chelsea)
Craig Eastmond (Sutton United)
Rui Fonte (Fulham)
Anthony Stokes (Hibernian)
Chris O’Grady (Chesterfield)
Dominic Poleon (Bradford City)
Jon Stead (Notts County)
Kingsley James (Chester)
Kyel Reid (Colchester United on loan from Coventry City)