Season 5 Game 25 (8-11 December)

THIS IS THE START OF A NEW AND EXCITING POST!

THE Worf’s lust for life – chocolat HEAD-IN-HANDS LEAGUE

So named because of the weekend birthdays of Michael Dorn (65), Kirk Douglas (101!) and Dame Judi Dench (83).

THE CATEGORIES

Zinger
None saved (again!)…so…..you asked for it – “Kelvin [Etuhu]’s goal has certainly raised the temperature [within Rodney Parade]”

The Dread Hand of Barney
Nothing listed…possibly the players selected no longer exist in our universe…

Stealth Gub
Gubless again. Tony will be revolving in his grave…

Miscellany

Nothing here – only an empty space. There’s nothing to see. Come on, move along…

The Results

Joe Bennett (Cardiff City on loan from Aston Villa)
Leon Clarke (Sheffield United)
Vadaine Oliver (Morecambe)
Will Buckley (Bolton Wanderers)

David Ball (Rotherham United) x2
Dwight Gayle (Newcastle United)
Lee Tomlin (Cardiff City)
Toumani Diagouraga (Plymouth Argyle)

Leon Clarke (Sheffield United)
Myles Weston (Ebbsfleet United)
Scott Sinclair (Celtic) x2

Josh Rees (Bromley)
Sebastian Larsson (Hull City)

Dominic Poleon (Bradford City)
John Egan (Brentford)
Matt Kilgallon (Bradford City)
Scott Boden (Wrexham)
Stefan Scougall (St Johnstone)
Steve Davies (Rochdale)

OVERALL RESULT: LUFFY WINS…JUST!

November 30, 2017March 15, 2018

Season 5 Game 24 (1-4 December 2017)

THIS IS THE START OF A NEW AND EXCITING POST!

THE ‘overprotected? powerless? elimentary!’ HEAD-IN-HANDS LEAGUE

So named because of the weekend birthdays of Britney Spears (36), Nelly Furtado [steady, Barney!] (39) and Lucy Liu (49).

THE CATEGORIES

Zinger
All successfully deleted by Barney, so I will inflict one made up on the spot on you. So, your prize is…. “[Scott] Tiffoney scores – he has had the Brechin defenders for Breakfast.” [Breakfast…Tiffany…come on, don’t fall asleep…]. Note: Greenock Morton went on to win 4-1.

The Dread Hand of Barney
Jamille Matt at Grimsby Town [DIDN’T PLAY], Bernard Mensah at Aldershot Town [NO] and Matej Vydra at Derby County [SCORED!] are this week’s victims. Poor Matej…

Stealth Gub
We were all gubless this week.

Miscellany

The original planned categories were And Stay Out!, Claridge Clock, Not A Kid, Make Ya Ma Proud and Day Trip To Brighton.

The Results

Gary Madine (Bolton Wanderers) x2
Eddie Nolan (Crewe Alexandra)
Steven MacLean (St Johnstone)

Craig Mackail-Smith (Wycombe Wanderers)
Dwight Gayle (Newcastle United)
Erhun Oztumer (Walsall)
Kieran Agard (Milton Keynes Dons) x2
Mark Little (Bolton Wanderers)
Nathaniel Knight-Percival (Bradford City)
Nicky Ajose (Bury on loan from Charlton Athletic) x2
Tommy Rowe (Doncaster Rovers) x2

Josh Wright (Southend United)
Martyn Waghorn (Ipswich Town)

Henri Lansbury (Aston Villa)

Chris Porter (Crewe Alexandra) x2
Dominic Calvert-Lewin (Everton)
Jon Stead (Notts County)
Lyle Taylor (AFC Wimbledon) x2
Marc McNulty (Coventry City)
Matt Done (Rochdale)

OVERALL RESULT: A MIGHTY 11 POINT WIN FOR THE POSH!

November 30, 2017February 17, 2018

Season 5 Game 23 (Midweek madness 28-29 Nov)

THIS IS THE START OF A NEW AND EXCITING POST!

THE pointless pollock in the thick of it HEAD-IN-HANDS LEAGUE

So named because of the weekend birthdays of Richard Osman (47), Ed Harris (67) and Armando Iannucci (54).

THE CATEGORIES

Zinger
Barney: Unavailable for comment. Possibly was in A Field In England…
Chris: Nothing proffered…
Howard: “Ian McShane scored for St Mirren – the Livingston players will all be Swearingen”

The Travel Pages
Attention should be drawn to the current record of Brechin City – P 14 – W 0 – D 3 – L 11 – GD minus 21. If they cpntinue, they will certainly be on here. Right now they are only on the outskirts. Somewhere near the Sudoku.

Miscellany

Darren Ferguson got what might be called an Extra-Time Churchill, seeing his side concede twice late on, despite being 2 up at the end of normal time. Of course, maybe Charlton Athletic were fighting like beavers…

The Results

James Tavernier (Rangers) x2

A rare blank!

Joe Pigott (Maidstone United on loan from Cambridge United)
Scott Sinclair (Celtic)

Yay, another blank!

Danny Philliskirk (Blackpool)

OVERALL RESULT: ADDICKS AND OWLS SHARE THE MIDWEEK POINTS!

November 29, 2017February 17, 2018

Season 5 Game 22 (24-27 Nov)

THIS IS THE START OF A NEW AND EXCITING POST!

THE “these words are poison – ‘hello ladies'” HEAD-IN-HANDS LEAGUE

So named because of the weekend birthdays of Natasha Bedingfield (36), Rita Ora (27) and Stephen Merchant(43).

THE CATEGORIES

Zinger
Barney: “[Chris} Zebrowski’s Going Straight onto the scoresheet” [Zebrowski was released last month after serving time for robbery and assault]
Chris: “{Jarrod} Bowen hits the bullseye for Hull CIty”
Howard: “[Alan] Taggart scored for Alloa Athletic. They’re being murdered!”

The Dread Hand of Barney
Macauley Bourne at Leyton Orient [DIDN’T PLAY], Nick Powell at Wigan Athletic [DIDN’T PLAY], Rory ‘The Plumber’ McAllister at Peterhead [NO GAME PLAYED BY PETERHEAD!] are this week’s cannon fodder [what a great game that was, incidentally…]. A clean sweep for our invisible entity!

Stealth Gub
Barney – called Middlesbrough v Derby County at 0-3 on 63 min – Finished: 0-3 – FAILED!
Howard – called Newcastle United v Watford at 0-3 on 65 min – Finished: 0-3 – FAILED!
Chris – called Wolverhampton Wanderers v Bolton Wanderers at 3-0 on 63 min – Finished: 5-1 – FAILED!

Miscellany

Dwight Pascal, 17, was making his debut for Barnet, ended up with a straight red card. His Ma was said to be “proud”….

The intended categories for this week were to have been: Born In Burberry, Fresh Hell, Local Boy, Pagga! and Don’t Call Me Shirley.

Barney notes that Luke WATERFALL scored on what was John Squire [‘alright squire!’]’s birthday. So there you go.

The Results

Alex Bruce (Wigan Athletic)
Danny Pugh (Port Vale on loan from Blackpool)
Leon Clarke (Sheffield United)
Stevie May (Aberdeen)
Will Buckley (Bolton Wanderers)

David Ball (Rotherham United)
Erhun Oztumer (Walsall)
Hayden White (Mansfield Town)
Josh McQuoid (Torquay United on loan from Luton Town)
Michael Bostwick (Lincoln City)

Leon Clarke (Sheffield United)
Myles Weston (Ebbsfleet United)

Chuks Aneke (Milton Keynes Dons)
Luke Freeman (Queen’s Park Rangers)

Lyle Taylor (AFC Wimbledon)
Marc McNulty (Coventry City)

OVERALL RESULT: POINTS SHARED BETWEEN THE POSH AND THE OWLS!

November 29, 2017February 17, 2018

Season 5 Game 21 (Midweek madness 21-22 Nov)

THIS IS THE START OF A NEW AND EXCITING POST!

THE now you see me on the maps as a blur HEAD-IN-HANDS LEAGUE

So named because of the weekend birthdays of Mark Ruffalo (50), Karen O {O’what ?} – (39) and Alex James (49).

THE CATEGORIES

Zinger
Barney: “{Rhys} Oates is having Halifax Town for breakfast”
Chris: No comment!
Howard: No comment!

Miscellany

Penzance in the 2011 census had 21,200 residents. This makes it FIVE TIMES smaller than Rotherham. Yes I know it has nothing to do with the football, but I just hate seeing a blank space. And I don’t believe a word of it.

The Results

Ayo Obileye (Eastleigh)
Daryl Murphy (Nottingham Forest)
Leon Clarke (Sheffield United) x3

Ben Turner (Burton Albion)
Britt Assombalonga (Middlesbrough) x2
Erhun Oztumer (Walsall)
Jonathan Obika (Oxford United)
Kieran Agard (Milton Keynes Dons)
Kyle Vassell (Blackpool)
Paul Taylor (Bradford City)
Shaq Coulthirst (Barnet)

Ayo Obileye (Eastleigh)
Jonathan Obika (Oxford United)
Leon Clarke (Sheffield United) x3
Martyn Waghorn (Ipswich Town)

A blank. Yay!

Jonathan Forte (Notts County)
Marc McNulty (Coventry City)
Paul Gallagher (Preston North End)

OVERALL RESULT: YET ANOTHER WIN FOR PETERBOROUGH AND BARNEY!