Season 5 Game 37 (16-19 Feb)

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THE ‘hetty wainthropp investigates quinn mallory’s lethal weapon’ HEAD-IN-HANDS LEAGUE

So named because of the weekend birthdays of Patricia Routledge (89), Jerry O’Connell (44) and Rene Russo (64). And me (21).

THE CATEGORIES

Zinger
Today’s desperate effort is…. “Alan’s goal {for Preston North End} has Browne’d off the Wolves fans”. And that was one of the better efforts…

The Dread Hand of Barney
Still en vacance, and as enigmatic as ever…

Stealth Gub
Rumoured to have lost his voice. Well, you don’t see him around much.

Miscellany

Another complete shot in the dark – again no notes at all from Barney for this one. Still, did you know that this week, in 1854, the UK recognised the Orange Free State? I thought not !

The Results

Jimmy Smith (Crawley Town)
Richard Wood (Rotherham United)

Jonathan Edwards (Woking on loan from Hull City)
Jonson Clarke-Harris (Coventry City on loan from Rotherham United)
Luke James (Woking)
Kieran Agard (Milton Keynes Dons)
Scott Rendell (Aldershot Town)

Joe Pigott (AFC Wimbledon)
Richard Wood (Rotherham United)
Simon Walton (Sutton United)

Olivier Giroud (Chelsea)

Conor Sammon (Partick Thistle on loan from Heart of Midlothian)
Jamie Murphy (Rangers on loan from Brighton and Hove Albion)
John-Joe O’Toole (Northampton Town)
Mark Yeates (Eastleigh)
Michael Tonge (Port Vale)
Ryan Flynn (St Mirren)
Shaun Miller (Crewe Alexandra on loan from Carlisle United)
Simon Walton (Sutton United)
Steve Davies (Rochdale)

OVERALL RESULT: AN OVERWHELMING WIN FOR THE BLADES!

February 14, 2018March 15, 2018

Season 5 Game 36 (9-12 Feb)

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THE ‘hart-to-hart this morning with the great white shark’ HEAD-IN-HANDS LEAGUE

So named because of the weekend birthdays of Robert Wagner (88), Greg Norman (63) and Holly Willoughby (37).

THE CATEGORIES

Zinger
No suggestions from Barney, so this means more agony. Oh well – “Aidan scores two for Queen’s Park – he must have been ‘Keena’ than the rest.” And don’t say you didn’t deserve it, either!

The Dread Hand of Barney
…was hiding from egg-chasing fans, eager to bore us with Six Nations rugby. It seems that we have finally found something to scare the Evil one!

Stealth Gub
Another week off for Tony. “It’s like working for Network Rail”, he quipped. Or then again, maybe not…

Miscellany

Nothing survives from this week – it was successfully removed from this earth by the Russian Secret Serviceeeeeaaaarrrggghhhhhhh…..

The Results

Aiden McGeady (Sunderland)
Deji Oshilaja (AFC Wimbledon)
Jimmy Smith (Crawley Town)

Alex Pritchard (Huddersfield Town)
Conor Washington (Queen’s Park Rangers)
Joe Newell (Rotherham United)
Scott Rendell (Aldershot Town)

Aaron Barnes (Torquay United on loan from Colchester United)
Lee Novak (Scunthorpe United)
Michael Turner (Southend United)

Jon Toral (Hull City)
Josh Rees (Bromley)
Semi Ajayi (Rotherham United)

Conor Sammon (Partick Thistle on loan from Heart of Midlothian)
Jamie Murphy (Rangers on loan from Brighton and Hove Albion)
Scott Boden (Wrexham)

OVERALL RESULT: ANOTHER CLOSE ONE, BUT IT’S THE POSH WHO WERE VICTORIOUS!

February 3, 2018March 15, 2018

Season 5 Game 35 (2-5 Feb)

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THE ‘come dancing with shannon reid? life’s too short!’ HEAD-IN-HANDS LEAGUE

So named because of the weekend birthdays of Dave Davies (71), Isla Fisher (42) and Warwick Davis (48).

THE CATEGORIES

Zinger
“Zaine’s goal for Fylde was only going in One Direction.” {Zaine Francis-Angol}

The Dread Hand of Barney
…was taking an extended break at The Emirates. Suddenly our poor recent form is revealed….

Stealth Gub
The legendary Gubba – strangely inactive these days

Miscellany

No categories chosen, no nuffink. Whole thing left to rack and ruin it seems!

The Results

Another blank?!

David Ball (Rotherham United)
Lee Frecklington (Lincoln City)
Michael Bostwick (Lincoln City)

Johann Berg Gudmundsson (Burnley)
Michael Smith (Rotherham United)

Alexis ‘Judas’ Sanchez (Manchester United)

Dominic Calvert-Lewin (Everton)
Marc McNulty (Coventry City)
Sean McGinty (Torquay United)
Shaun Miller (Crewe Alexandra on loan from Carlisle United)

OVERALL RESULT: ARE BLADES WITH THEIR WIN MAKING IT A TWO HORSE RACE?

February 3, 2018March 15, 2018

Season 5 Game 34 (26-29 Jan)

THIS IS THE START OF A NEW AND EXCITING POST!

THE ‘wish you were here, babe – someone to watch over me’ HEAD-IN-HANDS LEAGUE

So named because of the weekend birthdays of Nick Mason (74), James Cromwell (78) and Mimi Rogers (61).

THE CATEGORIES

Zinger
Again the original zingers (if there were any) have been successfully filed away. Sooo… “Courtney Senior scores – he only needed a ‘moment'”. Yes I know, but you brought it on yourselves…

The Dread Hand of Barney
Craig Tanner at Motherwell (DIDN’T SCORE), Gary Madine “goal machine” at Bolton Wanderers (TEAM DIDN’T PLAY), and Brett Pitman at Portsmouth (DIDN’T SCORE).

Stealth Gub
Nothing called. Obviously we were having too much fun in downtown Blackheath with the clientele of O’Neill’s fighting pub. I have no record of Chris’ excuse.

Miscellany

Categories were planned to be Diamond Lights, Are You My Fag?, Don’t Call Me Shirley, and An Evening With Paul Robinson.

The Results

Ayo Obileye (Eastleigh)
Jimmy Smith (Crawley Town)

George Boyd (Sheffield Wednesday)
Ricardo Santos (Barnet)

Ayo Obileye (Eastleigh)
Michael Turner (Southend United)

Josh Rees (Bromley)x2

Conor Sammon (Partick Thistle on loan from Heart of Midlothian)
John-Joe O’Toole (Northampton Town)
Jon Stead (Notts County)
Kevin McDonald (Fulham)
Matt Done (Rochdale)

OVERALL RESULT: ON A LOW SCORING WEEK, ITS A WIN FOR THE BLADES!