Season 7 Game 33 (14-17 Feb)

THE ‘1 in 10 Are Sweet but Psycho in Springfield’ HEAD-IN-HANDS LEAGUE

So named because of the weekend birthdays of Ali Campbell (61), Ava Max (26) [who?!] and Matt Groening (66).

Nothing survived here, so the usual punishment applies –
Howard: “Wilks scores for Hull City, it’s the opposition who are saying nay, nay” [punishment indeed!]

Danny Ings at Southampton, Scott Agnew at East Fife and Kieran Sadlier at Doncaster Rovers were facing a refreshed yet famished adversary…

It was looking like three straight “no’s” but then Danny Ings popped up with a goal against Burnley. Mind you, they still lost the game 2-1 (and were also playing at home).

Initially, Bristol Rovers’ 2-1 recovery from an early Blackpool goal would qualify (until you notice Ben Heneghan’s sending off just before the break). More suitable candidates would be Walsall 3-2 Northampton Town (HT 0-2) or Cambridge United 2-1 Bradford City (HT 0-1).

Max Biamou of France (Coventry City) seems a little unexotic, so how Aristote Nsiala of the Democratic Repulic of the Congo (Bolton Wanderers; o.g.) or Curacao’s Gevaro Nepomuceno (Oldham Athletic).

There seems to be less of them about these days – possibly they’re a dying breed. The known suspects though would have no reason to be upset, all of their teams won.

Not too many this time, and those that made the final cut only Cauley Woodrow (Barnsley), and Kayden Jackson (Ipswich Town), seemed to fit the bill, with the possible inclusion of Matty Cash (Nottingham Forest).

Barney – called Macclesfield Town v Exeter City at 0-3 on 38 min – Finished: 2-3 – FAILED!
– called Port Vale v Colchester United at 3-0 on 85 min – Finished (surprisingly): 3-0 – FAILED!
– [deleted by…?] – FAILED!

To celebrate C.W.N.N. getting its’ own definition on the Categories screen [LINK] and proper picture, we managed to achieve a blank. [Cue wild applause].

It was clearly a week for own goals – Tobias Figueiredo (Nottingham Forest) and Kyle Bartley (West Bromwich Albion) scored one each in their game, Toby Alderweireld (Tottingham Hotspurs) scored at both ends (snigger), and Cameron John (Doncaster Rovers) took it all to the next level by managing to score 2 [they lost 2-1 to Gillingham]!

Gary Madine (Blackpool)
Stevie May (St Johnstone)

Harry Toffolo (Huddersfield Town)
Jamie Walker (Heart of Midlothian)
Kwesi Appiah (AFC Wimbledon)
Leonardo da Silva Lopes (Hull City)
Nicky Ajose (Exeter City)
Reuben Reid (Cheltenham Town)
Ryan Tunnicliffe (Luton Town)
Tom Conlon (Port Vale)

charlton02Nicky Ajose (Exeter City)

ArsenalKyle Bartley (West Bromwich Albion) o.g.
Luke Ayling (Leeds United)

Gary Madine (Blackpool)
Harry Maguire (Manchester United)
Jamie Murphy (Burton Albion on loan from Rangers)
James Hanson (Grimsby Town)
Kyle Bartley (West Bromwich Albion) o.g.
Kyle Naughton (Swansea City)
Seamus Conneely (Accrington Stanley)


Season 7 Game 32 (7-10 Feb)

THE ‘shadows and fog on the fairway? blast!’ HEAD-IN-HANDS LEAGUE

So named because of the weekend birthdays of Mia Farrow (75), Sandy Lyle (62) and Holly Johnson (60).

(This is a bare-bones “skive” edition due to the lack of support and archive notes.)

Barney: [Has kept this to himself]
Chris: [Witticism deleted by….?]
Howard: “Novak has aced it” [Lee Novak, Bradford City] or “Fleetwood Town’s Madden has continued to annoy Wimbledon?” [Paddy Madden]

The Dread Hand chose some people who did or did not do a thing. It’s hard to say in this ever changing world in which we live in…

Barney – [Has kept this to himself] FAILED!
– called Colchester United vs Plymouth Argyle at 3-0 on 36 min – Finished: 3-0 – FAILED!
– [Has had it destroyed by Barney] FAILED!

Worth noting the performance (or not) of Oxford United. It was going badly enough when they were losing 2-0, but after gaining a one-man advantage, they eventually lost 4 NIL. Even worse, it was to The Posh.

Chris Maguire (Sunderland)
Sean Clare (Heart of Midlothian)

Jon Taylor (Doncaster Rovers)
Lee Tomlin (Cardiff City)
Peter Grant (Queen’s Park)

Joe Aribo (Rangers)
Lee Novak (Bradford City)
Martyn Waghorn (Derby County)

A blank!

Dominic Calvert-Lewin (Everton)
Kyle Naughton (Swansea City)
Marc McNulty (Hibernian on loan from Reading) x3
Scott Hogan (Birmingham City, on loan from Aston Villa)


Season 7 Game 31 (31 Jan – 3 Feb)


So named because of the weekend birthdays of Sherilyn Fenn (55!), David Jason (80) and Harry Styles (26).

Howard: “The usual punishment applies-“Nathan Ake (Bournemouth) causes pain for Aston Villa” [Ake scored the winning goal in Bournemouth’s 2-1 home win.

Unaware that It would be soon needed for emeregency duties in Wuhan, The Thing chose idly to pick on Airdrieonians’ Callum Gallagher [DIDN’T SCORE], John Rooney at Barrow [SCORED, BUT WILL LEARN!] and Andre Ayew at Swansea [DIDN’T SCORE].

Another traditionally difficult one to get – the nearest looked to be either Watford v Everton, where the home side threw away a two-goal lead [Everton scored two in first half stoppage time, so this would probably not have counted] or Notts County v Chesterfield [techincially too this would not count, since it was scoreless at half-time. Three-nil to Notts County by the end, mind you.] and the same goes for Hamilton Academical v Celtic, which might have worked, had it not been 1-1 at the break [4-1 FT]. Finally, there was a winner in Scotland’s Premiership. with Kilmarnock losing at home to lowly Ross County. Sadly, the cries of “you’re doing well so far, keep it going” went unheeded by The Staggies players, who collapsed to a 3-1 defeat, with two goals condeded in the space of 3 minutes.

It’s Jayden Bogle (Derby County), Zak Dearnley (Oldham Athletic), Tyler Smith (Rochdale), Odin Bailey (Forest Green Rovers on loan from Birmingham City), innit.

[This data was quarantined by Barney]

In the Working Men’s Club, sipping on a pint of Mackeson’s today [appropriate, given the Scottish connection] are Brian Graham (Partick Thistle), Barry Cuddihy (Clyde) and Derek Lyle (Peterhead).
Not quite venturing into that territory (but sat instead in their local Wetherspoons) were Dennis Politic (Bolton Wanderers), two Harrys – Souttar (Fleetwood Town) and Anderson (Lincoln City), and Charles Vernam (Grimsby Town).

Always a tricky one, and a little subjective. West Bromwich Albion v Luton Town was a top-flight fixture back in 1986 [WBA lost 2-1 at home that season, and 3-0 away], this time however, they couldn’t repeat that feat, going down 2-0 to the Baggies.

Desperation [and lack of Barney’s notes] almost made me choose Wayne Rooney’s “Know Your Limits” ad for Derby County sponsor 32Red, but I  quite liked the idea of an advert warning about gambling addiction on a gambling website, so we choose to laugh at Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain’s Nivea ad instead: [LINK]. They are of course, the Official Grooming Partner [no, not like THAT] of Liverpool FC “in the UK”…

Barney announced that there was to have been a ‘midweek skive’ edition on 28-29 January. Had this actually come about, the results would have been:

Sheffield Wednesday 5
Daryl Murphy (Bolton Wanderers)
Richard Wood (Rotherham United)
Vadaine Oliver (Northampton Town) x2
Will De Havilland (Dover Athletic) o.g.

Sheffield United 5
Billy Clarke (Grimsby Town)
Clayton Donaldson (Bradford City)
Conor Sammon (Falkirk)
Jamie Murphy (Burton Albion on loan from Rangers)
Otis Khan (Mansfield Town)

Arsenal 0

Peterborough United 9
Ben Nugent (Stevenage) o.g.
Jerome Binnom-Williams (Halifax Town)
Jerome Binnom-Williams (Halifax Town) o.g.
Jonson Clarke-Harris (Bristol Rovers)
Kieran Sadlier (Doncaster Rovers) x2
Lee Tomlin (Cardiff City)
Nicky Ajose (Exeter City)
Ryan Tafazolli (Hull City)

Charlton Athletic 4
Billy Clarke (Grimsby Town)
Karlan Grant (Huddersfield Town)
Nicky Ajose (Exeter City)
Richard Wood (Rotherham United)

So, a Posh win. Hmmm…

In other news, Marc Richards of Yeovil Town did that thing when you score and then get sent off in the same game. It still does not have a name (but at least there’s now a pretty picture and sort of an explanation in the “Categories” section).

Caolan Lavery (Walsall)
Chris O’Grady (Bolton Wanderers)
Gary Madine (Blackpool)
Hallam Hope (Swindon Town)
Sean Clare (Heart of Midlothian)
Stevie May (St Johnstone) x2

Christian Burgess (Portsmouth)
Harry Anderson (Lincoln City)
Harry Beautyman (Sutton United)
Jack Payne (Eastleigh)
Jonson Clarke-Harris (Bristol Rovers)
Ryan Tafazolli (Hull City)
Tyrone Barnett (Eastleigh)

charlton02Joe Pigott (AFC Wimbledon)
Martyn Waghorn (Derby County)
Michael Smith (Rotherham United) x2
Scott Sinclair (Preston North End)
Semi Ajayi (West Bromwich Albion)

ArsenalSemi Ajayi (West Bromwich Albion)
Theo Walcott (Everton)

Caolan Lavery (Walsall)
Ched Evans (Fleetwood Town)
Chris O’Grady (Bolton Wanderers)
Connor Hall (Chorley on loan from Bolton Wanderers)
Gary Madine (Blackpool)
Jamie Murphy (Burton Albion on loan from Rangers)
Lloyd Kerry (Harrogate Town)
Lyle Taylor (Charlton Athletic)
Scott Hogan (Birmingham City on loan from Aston Villa)