Game 8 Season 2 (12-15 Sep 2014)

Moby’s ‘Sex Over The Phone with Jaws’ Head-In-Hands League

Moby 47 on 12th, Randy ‘The Cowboy’ Jones (one of the Village People who ”pursues an alternative lifestyle”) was 64 on Saturday and Bond villain Richard Kiel would’ve been 75 on the 13th (R.I.P. Jaws)

The Categories

Norwich fans looking for Russell Martin and the rest of the squad
WHERE’S RUSSELL MARTIN?

That would be a chastening 331 miles via road (or 281 if you’re chartering a plane with an “Ashley Out!” banner attached and flying direct) for the Newcastle Fans to see their 4-0 scunnering at Southampton.

Phone Box Action
LIVE FROM THE PHONE BOX

Walsall v Preston – clearly proper telecommunications weren’t available in Walsall when the stadium was built in ’89.

Gwynne
HURRICANE GWYNNE!!

Unheard and certainly unseen. The above picture is one of only two known pictures of this reclusive creature in his natural habitat…

Glenn & Chris
DIAMOND LIGHTS

Peter Murphy – Wycombe defender and Goth Overlord

Nicklas Bendtner
BENDTNER!

[A CATEGORY SO NEW IT DOESN’T EVEN HAVE A GOOD TITLE]

Bristol City’s Mark Little now has 4 goals in 222 games. Not a natural goalscorer and not a natural defender either at the Posh. An honourable mention goes to Lewisham boy Michael Turner’s first in 19 months for Norwich (an overall career total of 20 goals in 343 games)

Legendary Tony Gubba
STEALTH GUB

Howard: called Southampton v Newcastle United  at 3-0 on 53 min. Finished 4-0.
Chris: called Newport County v Northampton Town at 3-0 on 53 min. Finished 3-2.
Barney: called Livingston v Alloa at 3-0 on 64 min. Finished 4-0.

To sum up – no winners!

Miscellany

Saturday also saw the preliminary round of both the Scottish and English FA Cups. Just about going home are Hawick Royal Albert after their 9-0 Dry Wyngarde at Cove. Littlehampton Town are going nowhere, Lubbocked 10-0 by Maidstone. Also in the Highland league, Formartine United inflicted a 7-1 mullah-ing on one-man team Keith.

Engaged
HE SH*TS GOALS

James Constable at Eastleigh – No!
Britt Assombalonga (aka “Scrabble”) at Nottingham Forest – Nay!
Rory McAllister at Peterhead – Never!

Zinger
ZINGER(S)

Barney writes: “It was like the Oscar Wilde salon in the Cavendish on Saturday (he lied outrageously)…”:

Barn: “Costa certainly woke up Chelsea!”
Howard:  “Jon Nouble [Welling United] – well he certainly Noubled the opposition there!” (I have no memory of this, btw!)
Chris: “Sanchez Watt has lit up Colchester!”

FINAL SCORES
arsenal-box Nil

charlton02 TwoJonathan Obika (Swindon Town)
Nathan Eccleston (Blackpool)

sheffield-wednesday-box TwoBenik Afobe (Milton Keynes Dons) x2

sheffield_united_fc OneNathan Dyer (Swansea City)

peterborough-united FourCraig Mackail-Smith (Brighton and Hove Albion)
Dwight Gayle (Crystal Palace)
Jonathan Obika (Swindon Town)
Saido Berahino (West Bromwich Albion)

OVERALL RESULT: WE HAVE A CLEAR WINNER – BARNEY AND PETERBOROUGH UNITED! *SLOW HAND CLAP*