The ‘Bat For Lashes Spooked Under Milk Wood’ (Well it is nearly Halloween) Head-In-Hands League
So called due to the birthdays of Bat For Lashes’ Natasha Khan (35, silly name), Peter Firth (61, star of the much-missed -by me- tv show Spooks), and the centenary of alcoholic welsh poet (are there any other kinds?) Dylan Thomas (he knew Llareggub).
Troy Deeney. A repeat offender (in this category!) who I’m sure has grown out of that silly ‘hanging around with lowlifes and kicking a student in the head’ phase
Not one. Indeed, he pronounced Berahino correctly not once, but twice to a stunned audience. Next for The Merse is Seth Nana Ofori-Twumasi…
Jamie Cureton. 18 separate clubs for the lower league journeyman, with an honourable mention to Leon Clarke, who has appeared for 13 different clubs and, at 32, is 7 years younger than Cureton. But will Clarke ever play for Busan IPark of South Korea?
There’s two Paul Quinns it would seem; one is the mild mannered Janitor….er…. Ross County player, who scored on Saturday and wears the traditional centre back’s number of er… 43. The other is the long-serving lead guitarist of metal band SAXON, Barnsley’s contribution to world culture.
Stephen Jordan. The oft-injured former Man City left-back has now managed 2 goals in 208 league games. Comparisons with Halley’s Comet can be judged to be “fair”.
Chris called Birmingham City v Bournemouth at 0-2 on 37 mins. This ended up going wayyyyy beyond Gubville and descended into the Wygarde Badlands. But this is Birmingham we’re talking about, so that’s really a home from home. Finished 0-8. That’s EIGHT.
Barney called Falkirk v Cowdenbeath at 3-0 on 35 mins. Cowdenbeath are the only Semi-Pro team in the Scottish First Division and it shows. Cowdenbeath also have the lowest ever opening day attendance in recent history, pulling in 79 paying spectators in the 93-94 season. Start the season as you mean to go on and that. Finished 6-0.
Howard called Preston North End v Fleetwood Town at 0-2 on 40 mins, full of confidence after two early away goals. Joe Garner’s second half hat-trick scuppered our hopes of a trifecta. A half-time Reverse Churchill worthy of Darren Ferguson, it finished 3-2. Garner has blanked on consecutive occasions when Barney has confidently predicted otherwise, which neatly segues into….
Papiss Cisse (Newcastle United) – No
Cody McDonald (Gillingham) – Goose Egg (that would be a no, right?)
Kwasi Appiah (Cambridge United) – Next!
Named in jest clearly. Or sponsored by Imodium.
‘Hartley scores for Plymouth, that’ll get them out of a jam’ (c) H. Quick