Season 3 Game 13 (2-5 Oct)

THE ‘PUSH AND SHOVE AND SCREAM AT PENFOLD’ HEAD-IN-HANDS LEAGUE

So named because of the weekend birthdays of Shaun Miller (Morecambe), Gwen Stefani (Lytham St Annes), Neve Campbell (Fleetwood) and Kevin Eldon (Thornton-Clevelys). One of these is a 28-year-old professional footballer. The other three are celebrities aged 46, 42 and 55 respectively. But which is the truth? [Explanation: Gwen Stefani did “Push And Shove”, Kevin ‘Who?’ Eldon is the new Penfold (boooo) and Neve was of course, in Scream, even the unnecessary fourth one]

THE CATEGORIES

ZingerZinger
Howard – ‘After that late winner, it’s all quiet on the Preston Front’ {Lewis McGugan’s 96th minute goal made it 3-1 to the Owls} and ‘Lens makes contact’ {as Sunderland go 2-0 up at West Ham, only to draw 2-2}
Barney ‘Luke Chambers brings the thunder’ {Ipswich Town; no further explanation necessary}
Chris was “working today” which could well be the winner, for irony alone. That comment could well come back to haunt Barney when next travelling on a choo-choo.

He Shi*s GoalsHe Sh*ts Goals
Jordan Burrow (Halifax Town) – Er…. NO (See below for more)
Riyad Mahrez (Leicester City) – NO – didn’t get his boots dirty, Manish
Liam Boyce (Ross County), YES! – with the last kick of the game too.

Pagga!Pagga!
Nothing here.

Known To The AuthoritiesKnown To The Authorities
Gary Madine – BBC News reported the events as follows “A Championship footballer is jailed for 18 months for assaulting two fans in separate attacks in nightclubs in Sheffield.” Madine followed up his first two hits with this LINK which claimed to show him denoucing his earlier punchy-punchy ways. BUT, in a dramatic turn of events, Barney, our very own Perry Mason, uncovered this piece of damning evidence, which blew the case wide open all the way to City Hall… LINK:
Good effort in doing much more than the criteria needed to win this category. But you are still no Nile Ranger

Fresh HellFresh Hell
Neil Lennon took “no trash” {is that like “quit your bitching” Barn?} as a player at Leicester and has the reputation of being a similar type of manager. The response the Bolton players got at full-time, having gone 2-0 up after 10 mins to 3-4 at full-time involved a lock-in and a subsequent FA charge against Lennon for comments made about the refereeing of said game.

UNPLEASANT LOCAL DERBYUnpleasant Local Derby
It’s the X19 derby between Doncaster and Barnsley (roughly – very roughly – every half an hour during the week, bus fans)

Bendtner!Bendtner!
It’s now 2 in 152 league games for Ivorian full-back Mustapha Dumbuya, though this is meant to be for failing so-called strikers, so I judge him ‘Not Guilty’…

Stealth GubStealth Gub
Barney
– called Ayr United v Cowdenbeath at 3-0 on 47 min – Finished – GUB!!
Howard
– called Tranmere Rovers v Bromley at 2-0 on 31 min – Finished 4-0 – FAILED!
Chris
– AWOL, so therefore – FAILED!

Miscellany

Sergio Aguero’s one-man-gub of Newcastle in 20 minutes is surely worth a mention. As was the debut game for new Halifax Town manager Darren Kelly. Given that he lasted just 4 months at previous club Oldham Athletic, how long will he get at The Shay after losing 7-1 (S-E-V-E-N) at home?

The Results

sheffield-wednesday-box
11Barry Corr (Cambridge United)
Benik Afobe (Wolverhampton Wanderers) x2
Gary Madine (Bolton Wanderers)
Jacques Maghoma (Birmingham City)
James Tavernier (Rangers)
Leon Clarke (Bury)
Mark Beevers (Millwall)
Rhys McCabe (Dunfermline Athletic)
Steven MacLean (St Johnstone) x2


ThreeKrystian Pearce (Mansfield Town)
Reuben Reid (Plymouth Argyle)
Ryan Tunnicliffe (Fulham)

charlton02
EightAswad Thomas (Dover Athletic)
Carl Jenkinson (West Ham United, on loan from Arsenal)
Dale Stephens (Brighton and Hove Albion)
Harry Pell (Cheltenham Town)
Jack Munns (Cheltenham Town) x3
Leon Clarke (Bury)


SixBenik Afobe (Wolverhampton Wanderers) x2
Jay Emmanuel-Thomas (Queen’s Park Rangers) x2
Jay Simpson (Leyton Orient)
Roarie Deacon (Crawley Town)


NineBilly Paynter (Hartlepool United)
Dominic Poleon (Oldham Athletic)
Jon Stead (Notts County)
Kevin McDonald (Wolverhampton Wanderers)
Kingsley James (Halifax Town)
Lyle Taylor (AFC Wimbledon)
Nick Blackman (Reading)
Sam Vokes (Burnley)
Shaun Miller (Morecambe)

OVERALL RESULT: DOUBLE FIGURES FROM CHRIS’ OWLS BLOW THE REST AWAY!