Season 3 Game 36 (19-22 Feb)

THE Nevermind Mister Tibbs and the crazy chick HEAD-IN-HANDS LEAGUE

So named because of the weekend birthdays of Kurt Cobain (would have been 49), Sidney Poitier KBE (89 – he’s allegedly a ‘Sir’ but was born in the USA, so this is in quotes for now) and Empress Charlotte Church (30 and as much an Empress as Poitier is a Knight)…


Due to various prior engagements, none of your panel could find the time to drop a witticism regarding a goalscorer. I bet you’re all heartbroken out there. I know Wiggy’s scriptwriters are…

The Dread Hand Of BarneyThe Dread Hand of Barney
Saw off Coventry’s Jacob Murphy and Rochdale’s Ian Henderson but Nahki Wells’ late effort for Huddersfield prevented a clean sweep. It’s likely the apparition has yet to reach Wells’ native Bermuda. Even more likely the said curse flat-out avoids Huddersfield altogether (wise!)

And stay out!…And Stay Out!
Leigh Griffiths again. Dundee – Wolves – Celtic (via training ground tantrums at Hibernian’s Pat Fenlon and rather unwisely, Wolves’ Mick McCarthy)


Known To The AuthoritiesKnown To The Authorities
It has to be Leigh Griffiths at Celtic. It’s safe to say there’s been a few meetings between the judiciary and the former Wolves and Hibernian striker over the last few years. The most recent one was for singing an offensive song – does this mean most of Barney’s record collection will now be confiscated? *pleads*

It Dont Mean NuthinIt Don’t Mean Nuthin’
Paul McShane lasted but a year at West Brom as new management swept away the Bryan Robson “signings”. As you would. Despite this, he’s had a decent career to date and may have enjoyed scoring the winner which saw his Reading team upset the Baggies in the FA Cup.

Glenn & ChrisDiamond Lights
Annan’s Josh Todd also doubles as Guns ‘N’ Roses soundalike Buckcherry’s frontman. He’ll also be the vocalist on Velvet Revolver’s new stuff. This is more information than Buckcherry really deserve, or that we care to hear.

Stealth GubStealth Gub
– called Bury v Colchester United at 3-2 on 51 min – Finished – 5-2 – FAILED!
– called Cambridge United v York City at 3-1 on 60 min – and then the scoring stopped! – FAILED!
– called Halifax Town v Grimsby Town at 3-0 on 54 min – Finished – 4-2 – FAILED!

An evening with Paul RobinsonAN EVENING WITH PAUL ROBINSON
Out of the cold storage and back on probation after two straight weeks of soul-crushing 0-0 draws being noted. Naturally, this means a blank when it’s actually a category again. Either that or we all fell asleep – you decide!


Brought to you this week by the Arena or Broadfield Stadium, home of Crawley Town. A quick shufti at the company’s website indicates you’ll get a detailed account of a service provided in your area, but omits the question ‘Can you make sure they look English?’ making it all but unusable for many people in Crawley. Allegedly.

Round of applause too for Colchester United, who brought a thoroughly impressive run of 17 winless games to Gigg Lane. Things looked promising against Bury, as they led 2-1 on the half hour. Alas, such dizzy heights clearly affected their central defender Tom Eastham, who went for a second bookable on 34. Normal service thusly resumed with the Essex U’s conceding four unanswered goals in the remainder of the game, losing 5-2. 18 without a win. “Resign!”

The Results

FiveBen Marshall (Blackburn Rovers)
Chris Maguire (Oxford United)
Rory McArdle (Bradford City)
Ross Barkley (Everton)
Ryan Lowe (Bury)

SixCraig Mackail-Smith (Luton Town)
Nicky Ajose (Swindon Town) x3
Scott Wootton (Leeds United)-og
Tyrone Barnett (Southend United, on loan from Shrewsbury Town)

FourAdebayo Azeez (AFC Wimbledon)
Conor McAleny (Wigan Athletic, on loan from Everton)
Dale Stephens (Brighton and Hove Albion)
David Mooney (Southend United)

OneGuy Demel (Dundee United)

10Chris Porter (Colchester United)
Connor Dimaio (Chesterfield)
Danny Philliskirk (Oldham Athletic)
Gary Cahill (Chelsea)
Jonathan Forte (Oldham Athletic)
Lyle Taylor (AFC Wimbledon)
Matt Phillips (Queen’s Park Rangers)
Sam Vokes (Burnley)
Scott Boden (Newport County)
Steve Davies (Bradford City)