THE Nevermind Mister Tibbs and the crazy chick HEAD-IN-HANDS LEAGUE
So named because of the weekend birthdays of Kurt Cobain (would have been 49), Sidney Poitier KBE (89 – he’s allegedly a ‘Sir’ but was born in the USA, so this is in quotes for now) and Empress Charlotte Church (30 and as much an Empress as Poitier is a Knight)…
The Dread Hand of Barney
Saw off Coventry’s Jacob Murphy and Rochdale’s Ian Henderson but Nahki Wells’ late effort for Huddersfield prevented a clean sweep. It’s likely the apparition has yet to reach Wells’ native Bermuda. Even more likely the said curse flat-out avoids Huddersfield altogether (wise!)
Known To The Authorities
It has to be Leigh Griffiths at Celtic. It’s safe to say there’s been a few meetings between the judiciary and the former Wolves and Hibernian striker over the last few years. The most recent one was for singing an offensive song – does this mean most of Barney’s record collection will now be confiscated? *pleads*
It Don’t Mean Nuthin’
Paul McShane lasted but a year at West Brom as new management swept away the Bryan Robson “signings”. As you would. Despite this, he’s had a decent career to date and may have enjoyed scoring the winner which saw his Reading team upset the Baggies in the FA Cup.
Annan’s Josh Todd also doubles as Guns ‘N’ Roses soundalike Buckcherry’s frontman. He’ll also be the vocalist on Velvet Revolver’s new stuff. This is more information than Buckcherry really deserve, or that we care to hear.
Barney – called Bury v Colchester United at 3-2 on 51 min – Finished – 5-2 – FAILED!
Howard – called Cambridge United v York City at 3-1 on 60 min – and then the scoring stopped! – FAILED!
Chris – called Halifax Town v Grimsby Town at 3-0 on 54 min – Finished – 4-2 – FAILED!
AN EVENING WITH PAUL ROBINSON
Out of the cold storage and back on probation after two straight weeks of soul-crushing 0-0 draws being noted. Naturally, this means a blank when it’s actually a category again. Either that or we all fell asleep – you decide!
Brought to you this week by the Checkatrade.com Arena or Broadfield Stadium, home of Crawley Town. A quick shufti at the company’s website indicates you’ll get a detailed account of a service provided in your area, but omits the question ‘Can you make sure they look English?’ making it all but unusable for many people in Crawley. Allegedly.
Round of applause too for Colchester United, who brought a thoroughly impressive run of 17 winless games to Gigg Lane. Things looked promising against Bury, as they led 2-1 on the half hour. Alas, such dizzy heights clearly affected their central defender Tom Eastham, who went for a second bookable on 34. Normal service thusly resumed with the Essex U’s conceding four unanswered goals in the remainder of the game, losing 5-2. 18 without a win. “Resign!”
Chris Porter (Colchester United)
Connor Dimaio (Chesterfield)
Danny Philliskirk (Oldham Athletic)
Gary Cahill (Chelsea)
Jonathan Forte (Oldham Athletic)
Lyle Taylor (AFC Wimbledon)
Matt Phillips (Queen’s Park Rangers)
Sam Vokes (Burnley)
Scott Boden (Newport County)
Steve Davies (Bradford City)