Thunder and lightning.
Enter three WITCHES.
First Witch
When shall we three meet again?
In thunder, lightning, or in rain?
Second Witch
When the hurlyburly’s done,
When the battle’s lost and won.
(MACBETH ACT I SCENE I)
There’s yer actual kulcher…or was that him who married Demi Moore for a while…
Anyway, we convened the three c*nts for the first time this season, and here are the results of the Danish Jury…
THE “I DIDN’T KNOW NOTTS COUNTY WERE IN THE CHAMPIONSHIP” HEAD IN HANDS LEAGUE
THE CATEGORIES
MERSONVOUSANGLAIS: FAILED
DAY TRIP TO BRIGHTON: FAILED
WHERE’S ALF-INGE? – Wolves 4 Gillingham 0 (141 miles in a straight line)
LIVE FROM THE PHONE BOX: Tranmere Rovers v Crawley
REVERSE CHURCHILL: Motherwell 1 up after a minute who went to the interval still leading. Cue the inspiring team-talk…and down 3-1 (Close was Eddie Howe – Bournemouth, who were drawing 1-all and went down 6-1. Worthy of a mention.)
MISCELLANY:
Josh Brizzell (Hyde) – sent off twice in 3 games. Also Docherty at Livingston – sent off in successive games.
In keeping with our new radio-friendly approach, the sub-category HE-SH*TS-GOALS now features a strategically-placed asterisk. But we know it is hiding an “i”….
Candidates for next week:
- James Vaughan (Huddersfield Town – 3 in 2)
- Troy Deeney (Watford, ditto)
- David Ball (Fleetwood Town – ditto)
- Will Grigg (Brentford – 2 in 2)
Robin bloody van Persie x2 (Manchester United) – football’s “Mr Loyalty”, Jay Emmanuel-Thomas (Bristol City)
Mark Yeates (Bradford City), Sam Vokes (Burnley), Nick Blackman (Reading)
Darius Henderson (Nottingham Forest)
Ryan Lowe (Tranmere Rovers), Leon Clarke (Coventry City), Mark Reynolds (Aberdeen)
David Ball x2 (Fleetwood Town)
RECENT ENTRY CHARLTON – CURRENTLY BEING COUNTED – BARNEY, PLEASE ELUCIDATE!