The Seasonally-Adjusted Gameweek IV

The “We Could’ve Done All This At Home HIH League”

Referring of course to the gimmick of PickTV having Saturday’s Premiership games on  Freeview

The Categories

BILL1Known To The Authorities
Lee Hughes of Port Vale (Death By Dangerous Driving, Common Assault), Troy Deeney of Watford (Affray)

LOCALBLocal Boy Makes Good
Marco Fabiani (Watford)

HELL2Fresh Hell
Mick McCarthy after QPR’s last-minute winner

esp2Beehive To Wiggy
Re: Nahki Wells – “that’s 3 in 3” (traditional arrangement: H Quick). Interesting-ish fact about Nahki Wells – his first club at senior level – Dandy Town Hornets. Thought also to have been the other name considered for the rebranded Hull City.

DLDiamond Lights
FAILED! (“It’s going DOWN the chart…”)

Miscellany

EngagedHe Shi*s Goals
Lee Frecklington  of Peterborough United (FAILED!), Will Grigg of Brentford (FAILED!), but saved by role-model Troy Deeney of Watford.

Candidates for next week
James Vaughan (Huddersfield Town) – 4 in 4
Troy Deeney (Watford) – 3 in 4
McKay (Inverness Caledonian Thistle) – 3 in 4
Clarke (Coventry City) – 3 in 3
Richards (Chesterfield) – 3 in 3
Patrick Agyemang (Portsmouth) – 3 in 3
Franck Moussa (Coventry) – 3 in 3

QMr Adjudicator
Called in to assess Franck Moussa’s eligibility as a point-scorer in the HIH League. Result: DENIED!

Quote of the Day:
“I’m going to get as drunk as the referee [at The Emirates]” – H. Quick. Well, it was bloody Aston Villa….and at home…

The Scores On The Doors

ArsenalSixPhilip Roberts (Falkirk), Goalscoring behemoth Jay Emmanuel-Thomas (Bristol City), Henri Lansbury (Nottingham Forest), Robin Bloody van Persie x2 (Manchester United) and Football’s £25m benchwarmer, Samir Nasri (Manchester City)

BladesSixAndy Reid (Nottingham Forest), Jordan Chappell (Torquay United), Keith Treacy (Burnley), Sam Vokes (Burnley), Darren Byfield (Tamworth) and James Vaughan (Huddersfield Town)

OwlsSix Leon Clarke x2 (Coventry City), Chris O’Grady x2 (Barnsley), Ross Barkley (Everton) and
Lee Grant (Derby County)

PoshFiveRene Howe (Burton Albion), Kieran Agard (Rotherham United), Andy Crofts (Brighton & Hove Albion), Ben Wright (Salisbury City) and Jeff Hughes (Fleetwood Town)

And introducing….

A late entrant, rather like the U.S. of A. into a World War….CHARLTON ATHLETIC!

Valiants FourAndy Reid (Nottingham Forest), Charlie MacDonald (Oldham Athletic), Leon Clarke (Coventry City) and “the man with Fridge” Kevin Lisbie (Leyton Orient)

We also say a big hello to two new categories – “DON’T CALL ME SHIRLEY” and “FIGHTING LIKE BEAVERS“.  For further explanation see the Categories page…

OVERALL RESULT: Seasonally-adjusted figures show a three-way tie between Arsenal, Sheffield United and Sheffield Wednesday. But it could have been oh so much worse…

“COMING SOON”

Vera Lynn
WE’LL MEET AGAIN
It Dont Mean Nuthin
IT DONT MEAN NUTHIN
Oyster Card
TONY CRAIG’s OYSTER CARD
Pagga!
PAGGA!
Posh
ARE YOU MY FAG?