Season 4 Game 15 (14-17 Oct)

THE James Bond’s Big Brother will beat Klitschko’ HEAD-IN-HANDS LEAGUE

So named because of the weekend birthdays of Sir Roger Moore (89), Davina McCall (49) and Anthony Joshua (27).


‘{Yann}Songo’o s goal is music to Plymouth Argyle’s ears’
Chris: ‘Cheltenham’s {Billy} Waters floods Crawley’s leaky defence’
Howard: ‘Millwall’s {Calum} Butcher cuts through to score’

The Dread Hand Of BarneyThe Dread Hand of Barney
Was very pleased to find a handsome selection of anti-macassars at John Lewis’, having received naught but perplexed expressions from the proprietors of Furniture Warehouse down the road. So our netherworld colleague was in good form and wasn’t too disaffected when Romelu Lukaku defied its curse, as neither Plymouth Argyle’s Graham Carey or Walsall’s Simeon (“Cinnamon”) Jackson netted.

Day Trip To BrightonDay Trip To Brighton
After last week’s excitement, it’s unsurprising that we didn’t note any player scoring at both ends over the weekend.

Reverse ChurchillReverse Churchill
Barnet 1-1 Exeter City at half-time, Barnet 1-4 Exeter City at full-time. Despite Barnet’s manager Martin ‘Mad Dog’ Allen taking full responsibility for the loss, it’s still a 1-4 reverse against a team in the bottom four of Division Two. So we’ll throw in a ‘Fresh Hell’ in there too.

Local Boy Makes GoodLocal Boy Makes Good
Queen’s Park Rangers‘ Pavel Wszolak goal can’t be ignored as his surname is clearly an unlucky, though potentially valuable hand in Scrabble. However, he’s at QPR, who are in the top two divisions, so we’ll go with Benin international midfielder Romuald Boco, now in his third spell at Accrington Stanley after a long and er.. after a long career.

Are You My Fag?Are You My Fag?
Sheffield United’s Ethan Ebanks-Landell scored at the weekend, shortly before issuing a loud ‘huzzah’ to the headteacher and a backhander to the first-year bursary boy for being a bursary boy. Know your place and all that [if that still applies in the 21st century, Barney!]

Bolton Wanderers v Oldham Athletic was a solid shout, more so than the ‘Docklands Derby’ of Plymouth Argyle v Portsmouth, but Mr Smith pointed out Bury v Rochdale – just 7 miles between the two teams and has never been called ‘The 468 derby’. Until now.

Stealth GubStealth Gub
– called Newcastle United v Brentford at 2-0 at 16 min – Finished: 3-1 – FAILED!
– called Queen Of The South v Greenock Morton at 0-3 on 44 min – Finished: 0-5 – SUCCESSFUL GUB!
– called Sheffield United v Port Vale at 2-0 on 43 min – Finished: 4-0 – FAILED!


A round of applause to Queen Of The South, who were unbeaten all season, conceding just four goals in the process. This excellent start counted for zilch on Saturday, as Morton gubbed the Doonhamers 5-0.

We were also privy to a unanimously agreed ‘BENDTNER’ as Walsall’s striker Amadou Bakayoko scored his debut goal for Walsall in his 22nd game for the Saddlers.

This week’s shirt sponsor is County Insurance, who have their name on Southport’s shirts for the 2016/17 season, here’s the PR blurb:

‘The County Group are long standings friends and supporters of Southport FC, having previously sponsored the club’s floodlights and worked closely with the Trust in Yellow supporters group to help fund the fantastic new stadium floodlights.
The company provide personal insurance, business insurance and also provide mortgages & life insurance’

They may also insure floodlights.

The Results

TwoChris Lines (Bristol Rovers)
Chris Maguire (Oxford United)

EightDwight Gayle (Newcastle United) x2
Erhun Oztumer (Walsall)
Kieran Agard (Milton Keynes Dons)
Lee Tomlin (Bristol City)
Nathaniel Mendez-Laing (Rochdale)
Reuben Reid (Exeter City)
Tommy Rowe (Doncaster Rovers)

Four Jack Munns (Cheltenham Town)
Josh Wright (Gillingham)
Scott Sinclair (Celtic)
Simon Makienok (Preston North End on loan from Palermo)

NilAnother clean sheet!

FourChristian Nade (Stranraer)
Jonathan Forte (Notts County)
Nathaniel Mendez-Laing (Rochdale)
Sam Vokes (Burnley)


Charlton Athletic