THE ‘Hey Emma, Don’t Sleepwalk with Bangerz’ HEAD-IN-HANDS LEAGUE
So named because of the weekend birthdays of the female half of our SE London flock, Emma Cole was ‘21’, Oscar Pistorius (30), and Miley Cyrus (24).
The Dread Hand of Barney
Was at the Age Concern Bridge club, this being a Wednesday and that. Our friend got quite irate at its bridge partner for failing to follow through on a Trump and accidentally sent them to the second circle of Hades. This turned out to be something of an unexpected boon, as they lived nearby in Rotherham, so saved £1 in bus fare. The hand presciently sent the bad vibes towards Sam Jones at Gateshead, Josh Morris at Scunthorpe and Alex Kiwomya at Crewe Alexandra, which only the latter could defy.
Make Ya Ma Proud
A local entrant gets the rosette. Ex-Blade prospect Jacob Mellis returned to Brammall Lane as a Bury player. Chelsea found £1.2m down Abramovich’s sofa to whisk Mellis away from S2. Alas, the ball-winning midfielder was subsequently sacked on the spot for letting off a smoke grenade in the training ground dressing rooms and has since enjoyed an inexorable slide down the leagues. Mellis was first in the showers for a straight red on 43 minutes that was less of a tackle, more a ju-jitsu leg sweep.
Barney – called Chester v Southport at 2-0 on 26 min – Finished: 2-1 – FAILED!
Howard – called Cheltenham Town v Colchester United at 0-2 on 67 min – Finished: 0-3 – FAILED!
Chris – called York City v Lincoln City called at 0-2 on 30 min – Finished: 1-4 – FAILED!
An Evening With Paul Robinson
Just the one 0-0 draw midweek, the previously mentioned Millwall v AFC Wimbledon. However, this was quite a good game despite the lack of goals, with 12 shots on target. Irony over ironies, Millwall’s veteran full-back Paul Robinson had the best opportunity to break the tie.
Erstwhile Notts County boss Shaun Derry had a season ticket for Meadow Lane as a kid, but was fired after a rumble with the boardroom last year. He wasn’t jobless for too long though, becoming Cambridge United’s manager a few months later. It’s now three wins from three games over Notts County for the Abbey Stadium outfit since Derry took over, describing the recent 1-0 success over the Midland Magpies as ‘A very satisfying performance’ makes for a solid It Don’t Mean Nuthin’