Season 4 Game 35 (31 Jan-1 Feb)

THE ‘POLLY, NEVER MIND THE COMMOTIONS’ HEAD-IN-HANDS LEAGUE

So named because of the midweek birthdays of Connie Booth (73), John Lydon aka “Johnny Rotten” [everyone knows that don’t they?] (61) and Lloyd Cole, now without the Commotions (56).

THE CATEGORIES

ZingerZinger
None listed from any of us but…oh, I don’t know….how about ‘Kortney’s goal {for Wolverhampton Wanderers] is on the Hause’. No?

The Dread Hand Of BarneyThe Dread Hand of Barney
It wasn’t clear from the notes I received, but appears to have been David Ball (Fleetwood Town), John Marquis (Doncaster Rovers), and Harry Kane (Tottenham Hotspur). The Unholy Spirit stopped the first two players from playing and ensured that Harry Kane was (for once) as useless for Spurs as he was for England in Euro ’16, so I would count that a success.Make Ya Ma ProudMake Ya Ma Proud
Aston Villa’s Chinese moneybags paid ¥103,389,464 Pretend Pounds…er..I mean Renminbi (£12m) for the services of Brentford’s star striker Scott Hogan during the January transfer window.

Day Trip To BrightonDay Trip To Brighton
The Southern Rail strike is probably still in force. Or it’s the wrong sorts of leaves that are blocking the lines… or Shergar is blocking the track at Hassocks…or something else from the Random Excuse Generator App.

And stay out!…And Stay Out!
Jay McEverley – Swindon Town > Sheffield United > Ross County. Clearly doesn’t want to stay in the local area. Or maybe like The Littlest Hobo, it’s a case of “can’t stay for long, just turn around and I’m gone again”

Are You My Fag?Are You My Fag?
Courtney Meppen-Walter (Stockport County) is… “obviously” [?] wondering why he is at Stockport – wherever that is – when he seemed destined to be a minor member of the Civil Service. And just to make the nightmare worse, he’s making a living from playing football – not ‘rugger’.

UNPLEASANT LOCAL DERBYUnpleasant Local Derby
Barney has Nottingham Forest v Rotherham United. Whilst they might very well qualify as being unpleasant, I’d say NOOOOOOO to it being a derby. Is there a local rivalry between the two? despite the alleged “40 driving miles” between the two…? I would say not.

Stealth GubStealth Gub
Technical difficulties with the sound mean no commentating from Tony and no guesses about which team will get ‘gubbed’…

Paul RobinsonAn Evening With Paul Robinson
Tottenham Hotspur’s game at Sunderland had a total of 17 shots (14 from Spurs)….er…but only 4 worried the goalkeepers. That was well worth the trip up north, eh?

Miscellany

Nothing here. It was quiet midweek. It’s always quiet midweek.

The Results

sheffield-wednesday-box
TwoChris Maguire (Oxford United)
Steven MacLean (St Johnstone)


FiveBritt Assombalonga (Nottingham Forest) x2
Conor Washington (Queen’s Park Rangers)
Lee Tomlin (Bristol City)
Liam Davis (Cheltenham Town) o.g.

charlton02
ThreeDarren Bent (Derby County)
Jay McEveley (Ross County)
Jonjo Shelvey (Newcastle United)

Arsenal
OneNico Yennaris (Brentford)


TwoJay McEveley (Ross County)
Sam Vokes (Burnley)

OVERALL RESULT: BARNEY’S MAKING A STEALTH RAID ON THE TITLE HERE, WITH ANOTHER WIN!