Season 4 Game 40 (24-27 Feb)

THE ‘Qualmpeddling for 127 Hours by The Sea’ HEAD-IN-HANDS LEAGUE

So named because of the weekend birthdays of Bill Bailey (53) Kate ‘Bailey’ Mara (28) and Corinne Bailey Rae (38). Don’t blame me, Barney chose the title.


‘Newport’s Gordon has been sent off for violent conduct, does this mean GORDON’s ALIVE! And kicking’….[and then Barney goes on to say he has “lost” mine and Chris’ efforts.]
Chris: “Bidi bidi bidi!” [that’s Twiki for “Lies!”]
Howard: “Resign!”

The Dread Hand Of BarneyThe Dread Hand of Barney
Was deeply worried by the continued absence of Cerberus, fearing the hellhound may have been accosted by Gabriel or some other resident of ‘the other side’. Matters ended happily, when a kind-hearted type, Pol Pot, phoned up to say the dog was in his garden, incinerating the grass. With all this to-ing and fro-ing, our supernatural compadre was otherwise engaged, meaning the Hand prevented only Liverpool’s Sadio Mane from scoring, with Forest Green Rovers’ Christian Doidge and Aberdeen’s Adam Rooney both netting.

Are You My Fag?Are You My Fag?
Back to the old faithful in Forest Green Rovers’ Keanu Marsh-Brown. Maybe the rest of them were quaffing champers at Tara Palmer-Tomkinson’s wake.

Where's Russell Martin?Where’s Russell Martin?
Fleetwood Town 3-0 Northampton Town. A 366 mile, 442 minute round-trip for the Cobblers fans who witnessed a ‘Cobblers’ performance too. (Boom-boom)

Nouha Dicko’s first league goal in 16 months could be attributed to a serious knee injury which saw him miss most of 2016. However, he was also goal-less in 12 outings around the enforced absence so makes for an ideal candidate for this category.

Stealth GubStealth Gub
– called Milton Keynes Dons v Shrewsbury Town at 2-0 on 15 min – Finished: 2-1 – FAILED!
– called Arbroath v Cowdenbeath at 2-0 on 44 min – Finished: 4-1 – FAILED!
– called Chesterfield v Oxford United at 0-2 on 56 min – Finished: 0-4 – FAILED!


Paul RobinsonAn Evening With Paul Robinson
The DW stadium was less than half full as the luckless attendees viewed a 0-0 against Nottingham Forest where a total of 3 shots needed saving, all of which were supplied by the away team. At least the pies are said to be good.


You’ll be thrilled to discover there’s just a couple of missives [EDIT: Is this why it goes on for half a page??], Zak Jules is on loan at Motherwell from Reading for the season, though this may change after Saturday’s game where his excellent own goal (CLICK LINK) after 7 minutes was only the start of a performance which saw the Belshill outfit 1-5 down at half-time and manager Mark McGhee (“Don’t make me angry”) out of a job on the Monday after. A Make Ya Ma Proud? Oh yes.

As a defensive midfielder, David Davis [EDIT: the secretary of state for Brexit?] doesn’t score that many goals but he did for his new club, Birmingham City, against his old club, Wolverhampton Wanderers in the Second City Derby, which only avoided being the Unpleasant Local Derby on account of being just that in the return fixture earlier in the season. It would’ve certainly made an excellent ‘It don’t mean Nuthin’ though.

Football clubs have increasingly become aware of their perceived responsibilities off the field so it’s a delight to report that in 2014, Derby County’s commercial department thought deeply about their role in the community regarding the promotion of a healthy lifestyle and said ‘Sod that, we’ll jump into bed with for three years’

Let’s hope that JUSTEAT’s UK MD Graham Corfield doesn’t attempt to link football and junk food in the blurb…

This announcement is our first significant venture into sports sponsorship and signifies an exciting new partnership for the brand. We’re hugely thrilled to be sponsoring Derby County Football Club at such a promising time in the club’s history.
“There’s a real synergy between live sport and takeaway food and we think we have a lot to offer as a brand in the football world. We can’t wait for next season to kick-off and will be cheering the Rams on in the Play-Off Final.

Oh well…

The Results

ThreeAiden McGeady (Preston North End on loan from Everton)
Nile Ranger (Southend United)
Ryan Lowe (Bury)

10David Ball (Fleetwood Town)
James Chester (Aston Villa)
Jonathan Edwards (Accrington Stanley)
Jonathan Obika (Swindon Town)
Kieran Agard (Milton Keynes Dons)
Krystian Pearce (Mansfield Town)
Nicky Ajose (Swindon Town on loan from Charlton Athletic) x2
Reuben Reid (Exeter City)
Tommy Rowe (Doncaster Rovers)

EightConor McAleny (Oxford United on loan from Everton) x3
Jonathan Obika (Swindon Town)
Josh Wright (Gillingham) x2
Martyn Waghorn (Rangers)
Marvin Sordell (Burton Albion)

ThreeCesc Fabregas (Chelsea)
Nico Yennaris (Brentford)
Roarie Deacon (Sutton United)

SixChris Porter (Colchester United)
Conor Sammon (Kilmarnock on loan from Heart of Midlothian)
David Cotterill (Bristol City on loan from Birmingham City)
Evan Horwood (Chester)
Jamie Murphy (Brighton and Hove Albion)
Lyle Taylor (AFC Wimbledon on loan from Scunthorpe United)