Season 9 Game 02 (13-16 August)

THE ‘InBetween Katniss and Catwoman’ HEAD-IN-HANDS LEAGUE

So named for the birthdays of James Buckley (34), Jennifer Lawrence (31) and Halle Berry (55).

Barney: ‘Exeter’s veteran defender gets red card and he can have no ‘Grounds’ for complaint’ [Exeter went on to lose 3-0 to Leyton Orient]
Chris: {Nothing. Really?!]
Howard: ‘Fylde’s Tollett scored at his convenience’ [Ben Tollitt of AFC Fylde who beat Guiseley 4-2 away)

Our occasionally-sentinent being made good on last week’s pledge to get out and about around its dwelling and has become quite a regular at the Hades WI (of course there’s one down there, they’re everywhere). It has stated it will be taking notes at next week’s meeting where the guest speaker will be discussing ‘How To Attract Friends’ though the actual speaker’s name is a mystery to date.

Perhaps musing on this rather too much, the being failed to prevent Fulham’s Aleksandar Mitrovic scoring on Saturday, though Martin Boyle at Hibernian and Charlie Wyke at Wigan Athletic blanked.

Given the the category title, you have to give best to an Austrian’s half-time efforts resulting in a defeat after looking good for the win. So when Southampton’s Ralph Hasenhuttl’s interval talk sees the Saints descend to a 1-3 loss after being ahead after 45 minutes, well, it kind of writes itself.

On the subject of descent, Sean Dyche oversaw a 1-0 Burnley lead at the break develop into a 1-2 reverse to Brighton & Hove Albion in what BT sport couldn’t help themselves to call ‘an early relegation six-pointer’.

And we mustn’t mention Newcastle United in the concept of ‘relegation’ but Steve Bruce saw his charges 2-1 up at half-time and or the wrong end of a 2-4 result on the full-time whistle. Tough to take for someone who is currently the ‘4th best British manager’ (BT Sport). There’s a back-handed compliment.

Familiar name David Goodwillie is here as ever, but also we have the wee Scottish man who’s better than Zidane* (aka Barry Bannan) – [LINK] – multiple charges dating back to his Aston Villa days.

* fact-check: “No.”

It’s been quite a few months since Darren Moore catching the X78 to civilisation from Doncaster in joining the Owls from the Keepmoat Stadium outfit. Any reasonably sane individual would do the same but the timing was very strange because yon Owls were and are in a proper mess.

There’s still a good bit of enmity between the teams supporters regarding the move but Mr Moore would be enjoying the bragging rights after Wednesday beat Doncaster Rovers 2-0 at Hillsborough particularly after a Donny missed penalty/missed rebound 3 minutes from the end.

A manager who absolutely didn’t enjoy a game opposing a team where he was never accepted was Karl Robinson at Oxford United, who won’t have enjoyed winning 2-1 against Charlton Athletic. Not a bit.

A very poor selection of teams being whupped on their travels. So much so we’re having to go with just a 2-0 home win in the shape of Portsmouth 2-0 Crewe Alexandra. That would be a 416 miles, 7 hrs and 36 minutes round trip but I’m really not sure 2-0 is a big enough results.

Did I mention ‘2-0’ on enough occasions in the above paragraph?

Barney – called West Bromwich Albion v Luton Town at 2-0 on 40 min – Finished: 3-2 – FAILED!
called Walsall v Forest Green Rovers at 0-3 on 44 min – Finished: 1-3 – FAILED!
– called Cove Rangers 5-2 East Fife at 3-0 on 60 min – Finished – FAILED!

The second week of the EFL saw quite a few games where the fans in the stands got nostalgic about the last season’s non-attendences. Birmingham City v Stoke City, Swansea City v Sheffield United, Port Vale v Tranmere Rovers and Rochdale v Scunthorpe United all qualified for the category, having ended 0-0 and combining with less than 5 shots on target between them.

Amazed that Lee Angol is still just 26. He’s already picked up the ‘well-travelled’ moniker (League Paper) but having 12 clubs at that age is certainly eligible for the Claridge Clock category (before its imminent retirement).

As for the Category Without A Name, where a player scores and gets a red card later in the game. David Brooks is a very unlikely nominee here as he looks about 14 and Barney’s Blades-supporting brother can barely remember him making a tackle without getting injured. But he did indeed score on 28 and saw red on the hour so there you go.

A lengthy trip over the border sees us pitch up at the Lowland League, which are experimenting with the inclusion of Celtic and Rangers’ under 21s in a bid to give young Scottish players meaningful and competitive minutes against older, more savvy players. In terms of ‘Competitive’ initial results aren’t promising:

Rangers B 9-1 Gretna 2000

Vale Of Leithen 0-10 Celtic B, including a one-man gub for Owen Moffat.

Finally, it was the first round of the Welsh FA Cup. Sample results include:

Caurau Ely 3-8 Brecon Corries

Pencoed Athletic (Amateur) 5-0 Treharris Athletic (Western)

Is there a professional Pencoed Athletic, just up from Bridgend? Is Treharris blessed with four teams for every main direction? Why is no-one asking these questions?

Chris Lines (Stevenage)
Jacob Murphy (Newcastle United)
Josh Onomah (Fulham)
Michail Antonio (West Ham United)
Will Keane (Wigan Athletic)

Conor Washington (Charlton Athletic)
Danny Andrew (Fleetwood Town)
Lee Angol (Bradford City) x2
Matt Stevens (Forest Green Rovers) x2

Harry Pell (Accrington Stanley)
Karlan Grant (West Bromwich Albion)

Chris Willock (Queens Park Rangers)
Jay Emmanuel-Thomas (Aberdeen)
Luke Ayling (Leeds United)

Callum Robinson (West Bromwich Albion)
Conor Washington (Charlton Athletic)
David Brooks (Bournemouth)
Dominic Calvert-Lewin (Everton)
Joe Ironside (Cambridge United)
Joe Riley (Carlisle United)
John Lundstram (Rangers)
Sam Vokes (Wycombe Wanderers)
Stefan Scougall (Alloa Athletic)