Season 9 Game 04 (27-30 August)

THE Tribute to Red Noses and Lungs’

So named because of the weekend birthdays [a lack of ‘decent’ ones, Barney says] of Jack Black (52), Sir Lenny Henry (63) and Florence Welch (35).

Barney: ‘Gallagher’s scored twice for Palace – he’s smoking’
Chris: [deleted….] oh, sorry hang on, ahem: ‘A Red Card for Exeter’s Kite – he certainly made his ‘mark’ on the Harrogate player’ [I believe that’s Mr Smith’s first zinger in a month. Well worth the wait, I’m sure you’d all agree].
Howard: ‘Halifax winger Debrah wasn’t ‘Messing’ about’

Found itself at another Mr Mojo lecture, this one entitled ‘How to be less demanding’. The host was again compelling viewing for our undead companion and it barely noticed the lack of other attendees at the lecture. Indeed, it hardly noticed the oration had concluded until the chamber became rather more crowded.

Thoroughly intrigued by the lecturer, it vowed to find out more about this strangely unmagnetic individual. You’d have thought this distraction would’ve allowed one of Plymouth Argyle’s Luke Jephcott, Reading’s John Swift or Forest Green Rovers’ Mathew Stevens to score. You’d be absolutely wrong.

It seemed a tough old cookie to crumble as Barney could only find Blackburn Rovers’ target man Sam Gallagher as a unisexed-named player, but it turned out he/she also had fellow Sams Barratt (Maidenhead United), Nicholson (Bristol Rovers) and Cosgrove (Shrewsbury Town) for company. Maybe also Emi Buendia of Aston Villa? And Yoann Barbet (Queens Park Rangers) also sounds like Joanne.

It happened.

It finally happened.

We got a PAGGA!.

And it was a good one [Sorry Barney, I refuse to use the word ‘doozy’].

Shrewsbury Town v Gillingham. Gills midfielder Dan Phillips is red-carded for a second bookable on 88 minutes. This started a rumble which eventually saw Shrews midfielder David Davis and Gillingham’s assistant boss Paul Raynor both red-carded. Any PAGGA! involving non-playing staff is always one for the records but this is made even more special by the Shropshire outfit’s reserve goalie, Harry Burgoyne, also seeing red, allegedly for ‘pithy’ remarks made to and at Raynor.

The fun and games begin at around 1:30:

[LINK] – Warning: Contains handbags.

Remarkably, the ‘fractious’ Gills manager Steve Evans wasn’t involved in the melee. Was he there?

One of those categories that always somehow survives the cull, though it may actually be extended to cover the acting profession as well as musicians. Old favourite Michael Smith (Ah, you know him, the Rotherham United striker who also doubles as a soundtrack composer and a sideman in The Good, The Bad and The Queen) will just about be enough to pass muster, mister.

There’s a couple of winners. Man City (7th) 5-0 Arsenal (One position higher than 21st) can’t be ignored, Howard, but rather unexpectedly, Huddersfield Town (4th) 4-0 Reading (21st) in the Championship is technically a better selection.

oHuddersfield Town’s Sorba Thomas and West Ham United’s Michail “Not Good Enough For Wednesday” Antonio both netted and that’s plenty enough to get the job done. And maybe we could also throw in Byron Webster (Bromley) and Jesse Debrah (Halifax Town). BUT WAIT!!! step forward and take the spoils, the scorer of the only goal against Bolton Wanderers, Cambridge United’s Shilow Tracey.

Barney – called Salford City v Newport County at 3-0 at 45 min – Finished: 3-0 – FAILED!
– called Sunderland v Wycombe Wanderers, called at 2-0 on 15 min – Finished: 3-1 – FAILED!
– called Manchester City 5-0 Arsenal, called at 2-0 on 33 min – Finished – GUB (Technically)!

A great celebration at Spotland on the 27th August, where Rochdale FC celebrated their 100th birthday. Colchester United were the visitors and the game utterly failed to match the auspicious occasion as the teams played out a 1-1 draw where there were just 3 shots on target throughout the game. The home team’s right-back, Max Taylor, certainly made sure his name would be well-remembered by the Colchester faithful with this effort:

It gets awkward for Mr Taylor from 0:40


A Ricket like that? On your second appearance for the club? On their 100th birthday? Not so much a Make Ya Ma Proud, more a real knuckle-biting moment for the extended clan Taylor.

It’s not been a happy start for Sheffield United on their return to the Championship with the team not being able to play in the style the coaching staff prefer whilst Jokanovic makes increasingly showy comments about the lack of new players being bought in. A 0-0 draw at Kenilworth Road where the teams shared 2 shots on target would indicate those resilliant Blades fans would’ve been more enthused by An Evening With Paul Robinson!!!

542 miles and 9 hours and 42 minutes. That’s the distance there-and-back from Wycombe to Sunderland, where the away fans could be heard asking Where’s Russell? Perhaps.

Jordan Slew was strongly believed to be a future Premiership player after breaking into the Sheffield United team at 17 years old and scoring 3 goals in his first 8 games for the Blades. Whilst he did get to the Premier League with Blackburn after they paid an initial £1m for the then 18 year old, it didn’t really work out and he spent almost all of his contract out on loan to lower league teams.  This ‘Slew’ (!) of clubs – 16 at the age of 29 (on the 7th September) – means the now Halifax striker is transparently eligible for the Claridge Clock following his maiden goal for the Shaymen on Monday. Get the timepiece whilst it’s still around, as it might not be there for much longer…

Michail Antonio (West Ham United)

Carl Piergianni (Oldham Athletic)
Ivan Toney (Brentford)
Josh McQuoid (Weymouth)
Mohamed Eisa (Milton Keynes Dons)

charlton02Conor Gallagher (Crystal Palace on loan from Chelsea) x2
Conor McAleny (Salford City)
Joe Pigott (Ipswich Town)
Michael Smith (Rotherham United) x2
Myles Weston (Dagenham and Redbridge)
Regan Charles-Cook (Ross County)
Semi Ajayi (West Bromwich Albion)
Tony Watt (Motherwell)

ArsenalSemi Ajayi (West Bromwich Albion)

[Ben Heneghan (AFC Wimbledon)
Ben Whiteman (Preston North End)
Dominic Calvert-Lewin (Everton)
Jordan Slew (Halifax Town)