Gameweek 15 (Hyde 0)

THE ‘I KISSED PETER GRIFFIN…AND I LIKED IT’ HIH LEAGUE

To mark the birthdays of Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane (45) and ‘singer’ Katy Perry (33)

The Categories

Haaland
WHERE’S ALF INGE?

FAILED! – despite some promising games like Mansfield V Plymouth and Leicester v Bournemouth

Posh
ARE YOU MY FAG?

FAILED!

Moyes
FRESH HELL

Mark Hughes renewing hostilities with ex-club Manchester United, was winning 2-1 (AT OLD TRAFFORD!) but ended up on the receiving end of a 3-2 comeback. After the game, he went off to scour some pans with his wire-wool hair…

Tribal Chiefs
LOCAL BOY MAKES GOOD

William Edjenguele of Bury.

Pagga!
PAGGA!

Figures very from 15 to 22, but a magnificent effort by Blackpool and Blackburn Rovers. Former Tangerine DJ Campbell‘s late tackle on Rovers keeper Matt Gilks started the whole ruckus and before you could say Jack Robinson, er…Jack Robinson and DJ were sent for an early bath.

Engaged
HE SH*TS GOALS

Leigh Griffiths of Wolves – FAILED!
Charlie Strutton of Braintree Town – FAILED!
Dundee’s Peter MacDonald got his 9th in 14 games

Gubba
THE GUB SCALE

Both Stealth Gubs called at 3-0:
Dundee United v St Mirren – Narrow FAILURE – finished 4-0
Sheffield United v Crewe Alexandra – FAILED! – finished 3-1

The Results

AddicksFourKyel Reid (Bradford City), Scott Wagstaff (Bristol City), Kevin Lisbie (Leyton Orient), Tom Soares (Bury)

OwlsFourDavid McGoldrick (Ipswich Town), Ryan Lowe (Tranmere Rovers) x2, Tom Soares (Bury)

BladesSevenJon Stead (Huddersfield Town), Jamie Ward (Derby County), Kyel Reid (Bradford City), Danny Philliskirk (Oldham Athletic), Chris Robertson (Port Vale), Danny Webber (Accrington Stanley) and Jordan Chappell (Torquay United)

PoshOneAndrew Crofts (Brighton & Hove Albion)

ArsenalFourJay Emmanuel-Thomas (Bristol City) x3 (three?!!?!?!?), Rhys Murphy (Dagenham & Redbridge)

Miscellany

Hartley Wintney needed to get through one more game in the FA Cup Qualifying rounds to get further than they ever had in their 116-year history… meanwhile, back in reality, they got gubbed at home, 6-1 being the final score. But they did at least do better than Vauxhall Motors, who were Wham!-ed by Macclesfield Town.

In the Highland Football League, Gary Weir of Wick Academy gave hapless Fort William a one-man Wet Wyngarde (Goals on 30′, 36′, 46′, 50′, 56′, 74′, 80′, 90′). Rumours that Fort William fielded a team of livestock are entirely unfounded….

And finally – Burnley’s mascot was ordered off the sidelines by ref for mocking Joey Barton – a dangerous thing to do, given Joey’s police record…

OVERALL RESULT: A MASSIVE WIN FOR LUFFY’S BLADES AND A MYSTERIOUS DEARTH FROM PETERBOROUGH….