The Gub Scale

tonyNamed in honour of legendary commentator Tony Gubba (RIP). Here he is Not Posing For This Picture

Number of Goals Associated Term
  The Odd goalAnd so it begins…
   A Brace

Starting to get worse…

   ‘It’s a carnival!’

Not much chance of coming back from this now….

   Damn Good Seeing-to

Team are giving up…

   GUBBING! [The Holy Grail !]

Ultimate goal achieved. Team have embarrassed themselves…

   Mullah-ing

Like running into ISIS on the football field…

   A Wham!

Named after celebrity cottager George Michael, although was also known as an East Stirling (before their alarming habit of winning games).

   A Wet Wyngarde

Named after another celebrity cottager, legendary actor Peter Wyngarde, whose career was cut short after he was caught in a gents toilet in Gloucester trying to pick up a young man.

  A Dry Wyngarde 

The levels of Wet and Dry refer to a seeing-to that will hurt more with/without lubrication.

   A Lubbock

Team dead in the water…or swimming pool…

THE SMALL PRINT

Anything over 10 is ‘Lubbock+’ as no-one will be walking away from that

There is also such a thing as a Stealth Gub. This must be called early – no waiting til after the first half and no calling it when a team is already 4-0 up.

 

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