Season 8 Game 25 (5-8 March)

THE ‘Walter White’s The King – Alright!’ HEAD-IN-HANDS LEAGUE
So named because of the weekend birthdays of Bryan Cranston (65), Sir Viv Richards (66) and Gaz Coombes (46).


Barney: ‘Colchester winger collects second yellow – that’s not Nouble’ [Frank Nouble, whose dismissal was part of their 2-0 home loss to Newport County]
Chris: ‘Whitely scores against his old club – should he celebrate? That’s a conundrum’ [Corey Whiteley scored the opening goal in Boreham Wood’s 2-2 draw away to Dagenham & Redbridge]
Howard: ‘Patrick makes it ‘Brough’ for Mansfield’ [Barrow’s Brough scored 2 goals shortly after Ryan Sweeney was sent off.]

Is losing control of all the COVID mutations out there – the South African, the Brazillian and now a newer strain that it believes is named after it misheard a mortal describe the Prime Minister. Who knows how the Kent COVID will affect future plans?

These ruminations utterly failed to prevent Kyle Wootton at Notts County[they didn’t even dare play during this week!], Mallik Wilks at Hull City or Heung-Min Son at Tottingham Hotspurs from the Dread Hand’s blandishments and another blank was recorded.

It’s been a fairly grim old season for both Sheffield clubs with a dual relegation looking increasingly likely for yon Blades and Owls. The latter also have the added burden of being snookered by FFP. One of the higher earners at Hillsborough is defender Julian Borner and to be fair, he has been one of Wednesday’s better players. But that’s really not saying much and his double-whammy of a pass to nobloodybody followed by last man rugby tackle on George Puscas = straight red for Borner and a converted Reading penalty is plenty enough to get the prize.

The unravelling begins at around 0:25 [LINK].

And this is another blank, I’m honestly not sure if there’s been a multiple red-card rumble when we’ve put this up as a category. It’s the lack of fans meaning a lack of atmosphere, said Russ Abbot [maybe they’re on an All Night Holiday?].


Kilmarnock’s veteran striker Kyle Lafferty was busted by the footballing authorities over betting on matches and was £23,000 out of pocket at the end of the hearing.

Failing that, we have the side-issue of Gavin Whyte who scored twice this week on loan with Hull City, but back in his Oxford United days, he was caught exposing himself in Belfast city centre [LINK]. Just to make it even worse, it was the same night that he was being honoured at a sports dinner at an awards ceremony for his on-field achievements. He was “spoken to” by the authorities.

Barney was feeling rather smug when Preston North End’s midfielder Daniel Johnson scored as his namesake was a musician of occasional genius and very wobbly health much admired by Kurt Cobain. But it was a case of ‘best laid plans and all that’ as that’s actually Daniel Johnston.
So, this meant we had to fall on the old stand-bys of Traffic co-founder/Burnley target man Chris Wood, and Busted bassist/Exeter City striker Matt Jay.

Aston Villa v Wolverhampton Wanderers. It’s Villa v Wolves. It’s Birmingham [and Wolverhampton]. Barney was about to suggest further Dagenham & Redbridge v Boreham Wood…but the referee intervened, invoking the mercy rule. No son, you’ve done enough.

Barney – called Morecambe v Carlisle United at 3-0 on 60 min – Finished: 3-1 – FAILED!
– called Norwich City v Luton Town at 3-0 on 72 min – Finished: 3-0 – FAILED!
– called Reading v Sheffield Wednesday at 2-0 on 64min in a fit of desperation – Finished: 3-0 – FAILED!


As mentioned above it’s been a shocker of a season for the Sheffield clubs. Both outfits can share in the delight of having ex-players score against them over the weekend with Lucas Joao of Reading and Southampton’s Che Adams netting against the Owls and Blades respectively. At least It Don’t Mean Nuthin’ to them.

However, this wasn’t the best set of It Don’t Mean Nuthin’s as Dagenham & Redbridge v Boreham Wood saw the Daggers’ Angelo Balanta and Boreham Wood’s Corey Whiteley [two mentions in one post! Need any more publicity doing Corey?] score against their former clubs.

Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink’s back at Burton Albion, and the Brewers are going up the league table apace since his arrival. Their win over Peterborough United saw Kane Hemmings score the opener. The well-travelled [“old”] striker’s last three clubs are Notts County – Dundee – Burton, which will always be enough for an AND STAY OUT!!!

Sunderland v Rochdale ended in a rather predictable home success. We have to ask Is It Cup Week? as that’s a Premiership v League Two clash 10 or 15 years back.

It’s always gratifying to see a Local Boy Makes Good and Inverness Caledonian Thistle’s Bulgarian striker Nikolay Todorov’s goal for the away team against Alloa Athletic in the Scottish Championship certainly would have warmed the hearts of some of Thistle’s more parochial followers.

Finally Middlesborough lost 2-1 to Swansea City after the home team were awarded a contentious penalty in the 8th minute of 2nd half injury time when 5 minutes was shown on the fourth officials’ board. Boro’s boss Neil Warnock was in familiar philosophical form and in no way at all was this a Fresh Hell.

“WHERE DO I START?!” Raging Neil Warnock blasts match officials after defeat to Swansea [LINK].

Ayo Obileye (Queen of the South) x2
Lucas Joao (Reading) – counting double against his old club
Vadaine Oliver (Gillingham) x2

Jason Cummings (Dundee)
Kyle Vassell (Released) was Fleetwood
Omar Bogle (Doncaster Rovers)
Shaq Coulthirst (Boreham Wood)
Tom Nichols (Crawley Town)
Toumani Diagouraga (Morecambe)
Tyrone Barnett (Eastleigh)

Ayo Obileye (Queen of the South) x2
Jamie Ward (Solihull Moors)
Joe Dodoo (Wigan Athletic)
Omar Bogle (Doncaster Rovers)

A blank!

Che Adams (Southampton)- counting double against his old club
James Hanson (Grimsby Town)
Jamie Ward (Solihull Moors)