THE FEEL THE ADDAMS FAMILY’S HOT FUZZ HEAD-IN-HANDS LEAGUE
So named because of the weekend birthdays of Robbie Williams (42), Chrstina Ricci (36) and Simon Pegg (46).
THE CATEGORIES
Zinger
Zingers are off the menu this week due to a combination of skivey excuses
The Dread Hand of Barney
Neither Jordan Rhodes (Middlesbrough), Lewis Hoult (Motherwell) or Matt Taylor (Bristol Rovers) troubled the scorers
Don’t Call Me Shirley
Jordan Bowery (Oxford United). Released by Rotherham United who had spent £600,000 on him the season before. There was no reason to mention that except to poke fun at the random signing policy of Steve Evans.
Make Ya Ma Proud
To the far north – Annan Athletic, in fact, where young midfielder Ben Jago went on 90 minutes for violent conduct, after coming on as a sub. His contribution totalled approx 26 minutes. Montrose score the resultant penalty and equalise with the last kick of the game.
Tony Craig’s Oyster Card
Blank. Maybe it’s a fault with Contactless Cards…
Fresh Hell
Mark Yates (a regular here), the former Chelteham boss and now manager of Crawley Town. It was 1-1 at the time of the “Mega-Pagga” (see below) but the team collapsed to a 4-1 defeat. At the end, it was 10 vs 10.
Born In Burberry
Initially we might have had to go with Troy Deeney but Baily Cargill (Coventry City, on loan from Bournemouth) easily took the cake here
Stealth Gub
Barney – called Coventry City v Bury at 3-0 on 21 min – Finished – 6-0 GUB ACHIEVED! (a Mullah-ing, in fact)
Howard – called Kidderminster v Macclesfield at 3-0 on 25 min – Finished – 3-1 FAILED!
Chris – called Blackpool v Shrewsbury Town at 0-3 on 34 min – Finished – 2-3 FAILED!
Miscellany
Brought to you by the appropriately-named Wham Stadium – Accrinngton’s Shay McCartan and Crawley’s Simon Walton were singled out by the referee as the main offenders in a SEVENTEEN MAN BRAWL, which led to 9 minutes of injury time. Star of the show has to be Accrington’s Jason Mooney, who received a straight red for foul and abusive langugage. Mooney is the reserve goalkeeper and was not even on the pitch.
Emile Heskey, veteran lump/alleged striker, has, amongst his the middle names, Ivanhoe. Really.
The Results
A rare clean sheet!
Liam Dickinson (Guiseley)
Nathaniel Knight-Percival (Shrewsbury Town)
Nicky Ajose (Swindon Town) x2
Kyel Reid (Bradford City, on loan from Preston North End)
Michael Smith (Portsmouth, on loan from Swindon Town)
Emmanuel Adebayor (Crystal Palace)
Kolo Toure (Liverpool)
Billy Paynter (Hartlepool United)
Danny Philliskirk (Oldham Athletic)
Jamie Murphy (Brighton and Hove Albion)
Kyel Reid (Bradford City, on loan from Preston North End)
Lyle Taylor (AFC Wimbledon) x2
Paul Gallagher (Preston North End)
Scott Boden (Newport County)
Seamus Conneely (Accrington Stanley)
Steve Davies (Bradford City)