Zinger
Barney: ‘Hull City’s target man kicks Swansea in the {Oumar} Niasse’
Chris: *PASS!*
Howard: ‘Yeovil Town’s {Bevis} Mugabi is dictating the game’

The Dread Hand of Barney
Was said to be ‘unimpressed’ after finally catching a glimpse of The Walking Dead, stating the zombies ‘look nothing like real zombies, but this could be solved with a few shiny pennies in my pocket and a call to the fella below’. Its mood was improved by blanking Burnley’s Andre Gray, Bury’s James Vaughan and Blackpool’s Brad Potts.

Don’t Call Me Shirley
Alex Jones at Bradford City [shouldn’t she/he be doing The One Show??] or Dagenham & Redbridge’s Jordan Maguire-Drew  amply qualify here.

Pagga!
A few flashpoints Jason, but no mutual reds I fear.

Known To The Authorities
Edinburgh City’s Derek Riordan. There’s been a few, your honour. Largely involving the words ‘bar’ ‘nightclub’ and ‘assault’. Clearly why he’s down at lowly Edinburgh and not Rangers or Celtic.

Fresh Hell
Scunthorpe United’s Graham Alexander saw his charges lose 3-2 to Gillingham via 3 penalties awarded to the home team. Correctness of choice for category confirmed with subsequent charge of Foul and Abusive language toward Officials. Accepted.

Stealth Gub
Barney – called Solihull Moors v Braintree Town at 0-3 on 26 min – Finished: 3-3 – FAILED!
Howard – called Dumbarton v Raith Rovers at 3-0 on 47 min – Finished: 4-0 – FAILED!
Chris – called Stevenage v Bolton Wanderers at 1-2 on 45 min – Finished: 2-4 – FAILED!

You’re Not A Kid Anymore
Matty Pearson at Accrington Stanley is 26 and far too old for all that childish naming nonsense.