THE ‘Scotty and Dot’s Alcoholocaust’ HEAD-IN-HANDS LEAGUE
So named because of the midweek birthdays of Simon “NOT Scotty” Pegg (47), June Brown (90) and the “very funny” [NOTE: that translates as “unpleasant”] Jim Jeffries (40).
The Dread Hand of Barney
Last seen looking for Cerberus, who slipped its leash around the fifth circle of Hell, according to local resident Jimmy Saville (and who *wouldn’t* trust him eh?). It did leave a note delivering bad vibes towards Callum Robinson at Preston North End, Jason Kennedy at Carlisle United, and Izzy Brown at Huddersfield Town, which only the Preston striker saw off.
Mr Wenger’s halftime chat which saw Arsenal’s wholly respectable 1-1 first half transcend to… [Censored!] er… so we’ll go with Steve McClaren’s words of wisdom turning a 2-1 lead into a 3-4 home defeat against Cardiff City. Bluebirds boss Neil Warnock will have been gutted, obviously.
Known To The Authorities
All scorers appear to have kept their noses clean. Curses.Claridge Clock
A few solid contenders for the rosette, but Mansfield Town’s Yoann Arquin takes the prize, on account of having 12 clubs on his CV at 28, four years younger than Southend’s Marc-Antoine Fortune. Arquin’s ports of call include such highlights as Quimper, Syrianska and Hereford.
Very little to report as this was a slightly truncated midweek schedule, though we were impressed with Hope Akpan’s yellow card for dissent, followed by red for getting physical with the ref, in the space of around 60 seconds.
Shrewsbury Town’s Steven Humphrys celebrated his debut by scoring against Peterborough United (who doesn’t?), following this up with a red card for buzzsawing, appropriately enough, Chris Forrester.